Usually I get an idea for Write Advice, Wisdom or general commentary on the Sunday. I spend the rest of the days building my post off and on around my other job, people, commitments etc. until it’s time to make it live. It wasn’t until 24hours out from posting that I really got the idea for it. It doesn’t happen like that. Writer’s block has never existed for me…but I was a little slow off the mark this week.

My health issues are finally getting me down, after months of pushing through and choosing to try to do most of my normal activities with bad symptoms when I should be resting in bed all day (it’s what I’ve been told to do by professionals and friends alike) I’m finally really frustrated. But…if Cleo Darkrose and I have anything in common, besides the penchant for tall dark-haired Canadian men, it’s that we keep the ball rolling. The show must go on…and all those similar clichés you can think of.

We both get it done. Broken rib, vision issues, stress, tired or not.

I get it-get it.

This week has been taxing and stressful. Some of the things involved so far; bills and rent, expensive dentist, important phone calls to discuss health and finance, work issues to navigate, writing/editing, drs appointments, and a text message to tell me I have a rent inspection in 2 days. Apparently I missed the letter, or I didn’t receive it… It just serves to reiterate that

Adulting is fucking shite.

Did people just not complain about this before, or was I just not listening? Do we have so many apps to scream our problems from the rooftops of our various pieces of technology that we all just sound the same?

Has Adulting become harder for the last couple of generations despite smartphones and cottonwool?

Everything feels fast. I don’t remember too much of my life the last decade, aside from the major events. There are many reasons for that, but some of it seems like there wasn’t time to actually pay attention because I was too busy surviving and also keeping my life afloat through the daily grind of work, bills etc. which we all have.

I read something once which said to treat your life like you have a reality show and a camera crew around you and it got me thinking…

The clichéd posts you see about being positive and grateful are nice (and it’s important to recognise you are blessed) but it’s also annoying AF when you’re having the worst day of your life and some clown is happy they’re holding a good coffee so they need to put it on their socials. Many of those people probably post and don’t mean what the caption says an hour after they’ve posted it.

I’m surly, recovering from the past few years, and always fucking tired so most days I hate everything. HOWEVER, I wanted to share the times I tried to stay in the moment for my make-believe reality show. 😉

Yours is happening right now too, so maybe you want to think about that. If someone was to watch it back in some kind of Black Mirror-style showreel, you need to make it worth watching.

Here are some of my moments from this week.

 

TLDR: *If you can’t stay in the moment because life is dramatic, pretend you have a reality show for a minute.

*Don’t forget to live and not just survive, because it’s boring and you forget chunks of your life that way.

*I take a million pics every week. LOL This is nothing.

* Holy shit, I think retail therapy actually works.

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

I once bought a book that said it was a collection of stories in the “Sci-fi Romance” genre. The cover was awesome, I was in love with the thumbnail right away. The design was mostly white, dull silver/steel font, hints of weird flowers that don’t exist, and some cyber-goth-looking lady with great hair, gazing downward, all secretive and pretty.

I thought I’d be okay with the “romance” part and dive into the sci-fi. “Romance” to me always meant those daytime television dramas where the woman and man are just…nice to each other and eventually, after a lot of complications and tension, they kiss at the end. OR some medieval book or movie where the princess can’t marry the commoner knight but they have some poetic back and forth until someone hurls themselves off a tower or something.

I learned that “romance” meant people getting dowwwn, and sex, and titties, and stiff rods going into “love-tunnels.”

There were nipples and erections by page 7 of this book, right when I was settling into the make-believe planet’s weird environment and interesting animals and forests. Despite the genre and title, this actually caught me by surprise. I’m too innocent?! I thought romance meant Frog Prince shit! I like my questionable stuff to involve guns and blood, I guess. Getting this book all wrong was completely my fault…I’m told the font, flowers and the fact it said romance should have been enough for me to realise.

To be fair, judging a book by its cover does help sometimes, if they’re done right and suit the interior! Usually indie authors have a lot of input regarding their book cover, and their graphic designers deliberately try to make thumbnail versions stand out as well as incorporate the elements the author wanted.

Certain colours and composition convey genre even without a title needing to or having a fae woman stock photo on the cover. I know, it’s straight-forward, but it only occurred to me about a year after I released KOS.

I wrote a post about the new cover for KOS. Even though the older cover is a fantastic piece of collaborative art, it didn’t speak to the genre I wanted to convey. This wasn’t anyone’s fault, I think myself and the (extremely talented, super-nice and accommodating) designer were just not as experienced at the time. I was used to controlling all aspects of my art/artistic vision and chose the colours and the model etc. without thinking like a Boss Lady regarding marketing and genre.

I’m pretty certain the cover didn’t tell anyone what the book was about and that probably hampered sales or buzz. There were most likely a few people who started reading it and probably felt ripped off it wasn’t an Urban Fantasy story. (I’m sorry!) So…I think my first KOS cover, although very beautiful, was judged differently than I’d hoped.

Gather round, children and let me tell you another tale…

I found a book (approx a decade ago) featuring a man and woman on the cover. They were both dressed in black, secret agent-looking, could have even passed for Trent and Cleo, which is what made the cover stand out to me in the first place.

The primary colours were dusty orange/brown tones behind them and they were standing on some kind of platform (if I remember correctly.) The woman had long dark hair and she was holding a gun.

The blurb was okay, it described some of the action and kickass stuff, and then there was one line which read, “he had the power to ramp her heartbeat up to 11” (or up to dangerous levels or…something like that) and (again!) I thought it just meant there was some sort of crush or background sexual tension between the main character and the guy she meets on her journey.

W

R

O

N

G

Granted, it took most of the book for it to become blatantly obvious the two were DTF but I overlooked and wrote off so many clues just waiting for action and fight scenes.
Then…one day I was sitting in a mid-city park and coffee area, twirling it in my hands and waiting for my next class when I saw the words “action romance” on the bottom of the spine.

I immediately texted a friend who’s all about those mommy-porn novels and asked WTF these words meant when used in conjunction with each other…and everything became so clear…

That was why they were in some underground swimming hole and the dude took his shorts off.

When books are lined up on a shelf, I can generally tell by the spine if it’s the book for me. What I look for is a combination of the colour of the cover (I like black, plain white, splashes of electric green, reds, steel grey.) I won’t bother if the font is too fancy – eg: gold script with lots of curls and swirls are usually indication it’s some vampire or romance novel that’s been done a million times.

(I’m not bagging your vamps. Really. It’s just not my thang.)

I’ve been wrong about covers. I’ve been wrong on the general vibe of the book enough not to notice it was “romance,” until a penis sprung out, but paying attention to the spine hasn’t screwed me…unless I just jinxed it by writing this.

I’m saying that if I had a confusing cover in front of me and a book that was facing away with just the spine showing, I’d probably make a good guess about the subject matter in the second one.

Spines haven’t lied to me…yet.

 

TLDR: *You can judge a book by the cover a lot of the time. Sometimes you will be wrong due to your wishful thinking or the author/cover designer’s mismatch.

*”Romance” really means bobs n vagene.

*I should pay more attention to what I’m reading.

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

*SPOILER WARNING. Skip this post if you haven’t read the Red Cowboys excerpt in the back of the first book and are still scratching your head about the future of the Darkrose Novels after King of Spades.

 

The Darkrose Novels are not in the Romance genre. But there is a cute guy, a an awesome girl and a bunch of circumstance which (so far) has prevented them from working out where they go from here. A romantic subplot in the Darkrose Novels felt necessary because all the characters involved are strong, career-driven and cutthroat. Some others (particularly the civilians) serve as contrast; mild and susceptible to emotion in comparison to the ones MDS has moulded.

But, as Dr Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park says, “life, uh, finds a way.”

via GIPHY

There are several human qualities spotlighted in the Darkrose Novels which an interested/analytical reader or a little-too obsessed-English-teacher-wanting-a-boss-essay-from-you could take away from the books. Usually these are things like friendship, courage, the need to do the right thing, the need to uncover truth, ethics and how injustice is the worst, but also how one copes with all of these things to keep moving forward.

Circumstances don’t always define human beings and they don’t necessarily predict how someone will act or a path they’ll choose. Whether this is pre-determined by DNA or evolution or just being “human,” everyone possesses ability to be more than their job or their situation.

One of the human qualities included in the books is the surprising ability for some of the characters to feel emotion for others.

Even though you are busy as shit, trying to adult, get over your past traumas, hustle, train, be a decent person…some (infuriatingly calm, funny, gorgeous, Canadian) guy sashays up and shoves a spoke in your wheels the size of a fucking pool cue…

For Cleo Darkrose, the niggling feeling she could be about to add another complication to her life confuses her enough to eat at sensibility MDS has beaten into her through training, deaths of friends and colleagues and other regular occurrences in her line of work.

The tension/dialogue and arc for she and Trent Starr could not only be a story in its own right somewhere else, (and has been kicked around the office in the way of pre-quels when the series comes to an end,) but has an important role in the series and always adds to the original plot and point of every book they are in. Even if you are like me, patiently sitting through lovely-dovey BS for a few pages to get back to the blood, guts and advanced technology, the “romantic” (or other) subplot isn’t just something these novels would be able to lose and continue unscathed.
Therein lies the the point where some skill is needed if you’re writing similar. If you want a multi-faceted story that does each piece of itself justice, you need to discern what’s important to the overall book and what you can stand to lose or shrink and how you would do that.

If the tension/unrequited/bumbling love story blooming between my lead characters was gone, yes, the story could technically continue but it would lose a lot of its momentum and visceral reactions for a reader. It would also shave off a side to Darkrose’s personality that wouldn’t have satisfactory outlets with the characters left, making it harder for the reader to identify with her to the extent I want them to in order to enjoy the series.

I want you to see this ruthless woman can feel like you do…all fluttery and confused because someone’s screwed up her radar. In Cleo’s case, it’s a lethal hazard…and that only proves the need she feels to ignore or squash it when he’s around.

If your book can forgo the sexual tension or the whole chunk of pages where you’re just trying to establish that your hero has a wife and kids back home, but the reader never gets to know anything else about them, then cut or shrink it if it serves no purpose.

It’s also worth thinking about the fact that if there is a subplot that could be a total book in another genre (if you wanted to make a story out of it,)be careful. We’re discussing “romance” so I’ll stick with that, but it goes for nearly everything I can think of.

Say this prayer aloud with me; Dear Lord, please let me never pick up an adventure story where some other-worldly creatures are living in a fantasy world and journeying to far away lands with mythical creatures and magic wands… then one day I turn the page and there’s a graphic description of a tit because two hobbits are getting DOWN.

Don’t let it get away from you, there’s time to evolve it(!) And with that, you evolve the reader’s understanding and involvement with the character.

Make sure there’s a reason why your male lead is pursuing the girl or why the girl is texting a guy she likes if you’re planning to keep them involved for the duration of your story. Don’t accidentally make it into some erotic thriller that started as an adventure to Mordor because you got bored/horny/distracted.

Your book probably needs a subplot…so do it. But make sure it adds to your art.

 

 

 

TLDR:

*If you’re not writing a Romance or Erotic novel, reign it in, son. There is time to go all out, build your arc so they care about the characters in the situation.

*Make your subplot add to the story because if the book can do without it, you should have already murdered those darlin’s…

*I don’t want to read about anyone’s hobbit penis unexpectedly.

 

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

triggered/ˈtrɪɡəd/ :Adjective, (of a mechanism) activated by a trigger.”a triggered alarm”

(of a response) caused by particular action, process, or situation.”a triggered memory of his childhood”

 

I’m in a lot of writers, critique, authors and promotional groups. The last few years has me constantly seeing the words, “trigger warning.”

“Should I add a trigger warning to my book?”
“The book I read had no trigger warning and so I down-rated it.”

Wut.

((Let’s first assume this isn’t just attention-seeking or a jealous comment on a perceived rival’s book – or something equally as vindictive or strange.))

Seriously, what do you mean? It’s a bunch of paper glued together. It’s words on a screen that you chose to purchase after access to the blurb, after other books in the genre are suggested to you as you browse, after other books by the same author are flashed up beside it, and probably after you read the reviews below it on a sale website.

But you started reading, kept reading the pages leading up to the “triggering” and then somehow were shocked when there was a sexual assault on a character you identified with, or when an innocent child character was murdered by the evil villain.

 

Some things you see or read can remind you of a time you went through (for eg.)but that’s not the author or artist’s/creator’s problem. It’s ultimately yours. Unless they wrote and dedicated the book specifically to you, I’d say you probably have no recourse and should perhaps take a look at a sense of self-importance when you brag about this stuff in a social media group consisting of thousands.

If words on a paper trigger you, you may need to work on yourself a little more, (-and that’s meant without any sarcasm.) Heal from traumas in the past that are still so severe they cause words on a screen to make you feel bad. Therapy and mental health programs don’t carry the stigma they once did and they can offer a range of ways to cope with the thoughts and feelings you have.

Okay, but, like, what if the scene is really bad? Like in the book, a dude eats another dude or something, then he, like…bangs his own mother and then kills the pet dog who is REALLY cute?

…So?

We all have lines we draw, and yours may be 100% different to someone else’s…and there are over 7billion people in the world, so guess what? You don’t get to dictate how any person outside your own body thinks or wishes to describe an act, especially not in a fictional world they created!

“Being offended is subjective” – Steve Hughes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceS_jkKjIgo

There are things I have no interest in knowing more about and subject matter where I shrug to myself and say, “Okaaaay…welp, each to their own, I guess,” and then…I (shock, horror!) continue my life. If something on paper or film makes me uncomfortable, I seem to have this little voice in my head that says, “if you don’t like how this is going, move on to something else, it’s not your type of thing.” I assumed all people had this. But it looks like a lot more people are beginning to have one that says,

“You didn’t like this! Cause a scene, be outraged! Virtue signal! Brag about your vengeful tactics!”

OR

“It made me sad or anxious and I have a right to feel safe!”

You do. But not in someone else’s fictional world, which they created and you willingly stepped into. Art makes you feel. And, if anything, to draw a feeling from you serves only to prove the author/creator is a true artist (as depraved or scary as you might personally find a scene or language.)

I’m sorry something horrible happened to you, I really am, but you have no right to police my thoughts, what comes out of my mouth, my keyboard or what I spent hours/days/years crafting. Work on yourself. Develop yourself and the way you cope. In a world with billions of people and a lot of tragedy and trauma, unfortunately you’re probably not alone in your experience, and creators understand that. They are often gifted and have creative insight due to their own hardships. They are just sharing a story. They are just sharing their piece of art or their movie. As long as no one is getting hurt in the real world, it’s just that. Words are not actions. A fictional story is not going to hurt you. Putting trigger warnings on art, particularly books, is getting a little ridiculous and absolving people of their personal responsibility.

 

A list of banned books here!

More books once banned and described as disturbing!

10 Controversial art pieces!

 

TLDR:
1. You know what to expect by reading the blurb/ seeing a trailer for the movie/other people’s reviews. Sometimes even just the cover!

2. If you were personally ‘triggered’ by something that was meant for thousands to read or see, sit down. I am sorry and honestly sympathetic to what you’ve been though but you’re not the only person in the world and you don’t get to bend it to your current feeling.

3. Art is supposed to make you feel something. Even if that something is discomfort.

4. I’m so triggered right now. 😛

I don’t gag myself so anyone can feel comfortable, and certainly will not do that with my art.

**updated- the OP was just outed as someone who had received a low rating themselves and was garnering attention. Oh man.

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

 

New Years resolutions are bogus. I’m going to be the same chocolate devouring, gaming, Netflix-binging woman I was the last couple of years. However, it’s safe for me to promise that Red Cowboys will be out this year…and I am quietly confident book 3 (which, yes has a name and is almost complete and ready for editing) will be out shortly after. See, in between two hospitalisations including joyous things like broken bones and catheters, I have been making plans. (muahahahaaa!)

NYE 2019 was spent gaming. I’m sick and wouldn’t have enjoyed ear-splitting music and a rush to obtain an overpriced cab or Uber home. There are many memes circulating that accurately describe the mentality a woman of my age and condition feels like on a night like that…

I just want my bed.

I do have cabin fever but I wasn’t keen to waste the volume of makeup and energy required for a NYE binge or other.

 

Compulsion VS Intent?
How many times do you pick up your phone? Your tracking device? Your brain-changing doo-dad that is shortening your attention span every single day?

-Not a judgement, it’s shortening mine too. But it’s been recently brought to my attention just how many times I touch it or pick it up for no reason at all. –

Has the wave of technology given me a form of OCD? Did my dopamine simply fall for the pull-down refresh feature that is admittedly designed to mimic the handle on a slot/pokie machine?

I’ve seen a meme/picture around social media saying the “send” button should just be called the “fuck it” button. Sometimes you write something risky and clench every muscle before you hit send. Sometimes it’s a shrug…Yes, I will start the inevitable argument I knew was coming, get it over and done with.

But did you ever send one because…because? I send memes to make people laugh but sometimes I’ll throw out a “hey,” because my brain is unoccupied for three seconds and requires a shot of attention or dopamine to remind me I have a pulse. (LOL) I also throw it out there because I think it’s nice to get an unexpected message from someone who just wants to know how you are, and I like giving that to people…but the lines blur.

Spontaneity is a good thing, however, a lot of us need to think about compulsion VS intent in some situations. I’ve already mentioned that I don’t like new years resolutions, (they’re stupid)…but if there was one thing I’d like to work on in the coming months, it’s being aware of whether I have a valid reason for some of my actions. Phones and technology have inserted themselves into our lives so effortlessly(by design) that this is where I hope to start.

Leave a comment/message if you have any ideas on how to change things in your own daily life.

 

 

https://youtu.be/YPmNf362_K0?t=187

 

TLDR:
*How many times a day do you pick up your phone?

*Do you do things for the hell of it without realising? Maybe it’s time you thought about your intent sometimes. I’m going to try.

*I dressed in a really pretty Dotti dress to stay home on New Years and play games with randoms.

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.