Seriously, WTF did we just live through?

What a pile of shite. It was one of the worst years of my life, for more reasons than just the dreaded Rona restrictions. I spent a lot of it wishing certain things were different. All the days of this year were a blur of illness, confusion and generally trying to make it through every day when it was hard to want to get out of bed. I can’t believe this is the last day of the year. In my head, it’s still March. I want to be a year younger, I didn’t use this year! The good thing was that I got free donuts because my birthday occurred while the most severe of the wuflu/Rona/Coof hysterical lockdown in my city was happening, preventing myself and many others from having a gathering or going out. Fuck yeah, Krispy Kreme.

I don’t make new year’s resolutions. But I feel like I can start trying to live again in the new year and because this year was wasted, I have two years to cram into one! That goes for book launches, working on my fitness again etc. This year (2020) is definitely one for the memoir LOL. Thanks for reading my rants, musings and sneak peaks for the next books. This year has taught me a lot about people, the world and myself. I have learned/relearned things, here are some:

Good people are hard to find! but they do exist. (Even if you don’t believe that, just go on the odds based on the number of people on Earth.)

Just because they exist, doesn’t mean they don’t have a downside.

And it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t move on, away from them. We don’t shove our feet into a size smaller shoe then try to make it work.

Some people will never change and you have to leave them behind to what they chose.

Life is strange! You wind up going on a few dates with a dude and then find old photos of you and your friends at a bar, and he is randomly with his friends, directly behind you. Wow. Is it fate? Destined to cross each other’s paths again? Yes. Destined to be more? Not necessarily. And that is more than okay. Because God/universe/fate/whatever you believe, has something else you are supposed to do instead, you probably just can’t see it yet, and it’s a motherfucker and frustrating but…just keep walking and eventually you will stub your toe on what you needed.

“Growth” happens while you are trying to grow in other ways.

Timing is weird, but there’s not much point forcing or stressing about it. If it’s meant to be, it will…and if you’re supposed to learn from it, it will still happen…and maybe not end up the way you thought or wanted exactly…but it will be okay.

Don’t hold so tight. Because it’s difficult, scary and you end up overthinking and ruining things/creating what you didn’t want. lol Trust me on this! It’s okay to want, to have a dream or goal but don’t make yourself crazy…

Go into 2021 with a positive outlook and don’t think too much about the state of the world for a little bit. Smile.

Have a happy new year!

 

 

Wow, I almost sound not OG goth, not depressed and not like the cynical ass I usually am.

 

 

 

 

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All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

 

I’m a female currently residing in Australia. Today I was thinking about my old friend, Raven, as I was walking in the CBD. We’d been best friends in our early twenties, the same sense of humour and outlook, in the same film classes and creating amazing art together. We were in the city on a lunch break from class and I was watching him with remnants of his burger trying to entice a bird closer. I was sitting on a stone bench a few metres away, seeing him bend and extend his hand, try to get close enough so he could feed it. The curious thing bobbed its head, looked all around to gauge the danger, taking its time to feel safe. Raven made kissy sounds with his mouth and stretched his arm even further. The bird finally took a shaky step forward towards the offering and he.kicked.it.in.the.face.

That bird is me.

And this is my life.

 

Nah, that is just something I threw together but maybe I *could* use it?

So what’s a memoir to you? (I’ve written about it before.)  I care if you’re a “nobody.” You don’t need to be a famous rockstar.  I care about your story if you did a stint in jail or escaped a toxic family. I care if you were trying to break a world record, even if you didn’t succeed. I care if you left behind everything to move to another country. We all have stories, and they should be told. What you went through shouldn’t be a waste and lost to the ages. The internet never forgets, so I like blogging or writing something that will remain, can help others or teach them to steer clear of certain situations based on the experiences of others.

So what do you write down? I’ve bought books on how to plan a memoir, but I think I’ll eventually do it in blocks and just write the stand out memories from certain years. Obviously, they are vital moments which were prominent enough to carry to present day. When I write it, I’ll probably describe my life ages 0-6 , 6-10, teen years, twenties, and so on. Annnnd then I’ll remember something after it’s published and have to make an edit or a second book.

I’ve always wanted to tell my story. This life has taught me a lot. I always assumed most of those lessons were just motions of living a life, but they weren’t the norm and shouldn’t have happened to me. Apparently, these things are interesting topics! (Aha!) So would you read a memoir by someone that could tell you about abuse, bullying, stage performance, dud sex, violence, guns, city underbelly shit, writing, online LOML romance with someone who wasn’t a Nigerian prince, recovery from PTSD, being the (unbeknownst to me) “other woman” and more? LOL

Ahh, I’ll get around to it one day. At the moment some of the hurt and injustice feels too raw to write it with the skill I think it needs, so I’ve been putting it, off but it will come…

…and if you’re worried about what’s going to be in it, you should have been less of a piece of shit. 

I occasionally think about a memoir release between Darkrose Novels book 4 and 5 but I’ve never made any concrete plans. Life has been hectic, see above. If you want to tell me your story or what you would put in a memoir or tele-movie about yourself, drop me a line. If you can relate to even the words I’ve written and need to rant or vent about your own experience, likewise. Send it through.

 

 

TLDR: *Memoirs are awesome no matter who wrote them.

*I’m going to write one someday.

*We can learn from other people’s experiences.

*Raven was a mischievous idiot when he was young, but he progressed to being a reasonably well-adjusted man (last I saw him,) but I haven’t him seen for years. 

*Christmas is tomorrow and I’m trying to make food. It is hot AF here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

Does a big ego help or hurt writers?

 

I didn’t want to do this. I kept it in for a couple of months now, but okay.

Yes, I can write, sing, do a number of things(hey, that rhymes) but since I get no real buzz from my accomplishments, when I was part of the handful of viewers watching an interview with a very well-known author, I was confused by his overinflated ego. This older gentleman had written a series of books for years, as well as stand-alone novels. He was famous. He joined the stream from his living room which looked cosy and posh. He was/is also well-known in other industries and has an extensive Wikipedia page I later Googled to find out what his fucking problem was.

I was kind of excited. He was a big name and he’d written a series with a main character having spy leanings/secret agent vibes but I didn’t know his work. I thought he’d be handing out tips on launches and talking about where he got his inspiration, interesting people he’d met during his research. Instead, he came online and ranted about Donald Trump (in fashion the last 4/5 years, *yawn.) for a third of his whole time on screen. Then he added other random “facts” which I know, for sure, are incorrect. I tried to let it slide, celebrities have a reputation to protect and rather than be a fence-sitter or on a side they perceive to be losing/alternative, they regurgitate bullshit from mainstream news sources and other. Their pay depends on it. A lot of the opinions he thought were his own were things I’d heard ad nauseam while trawling the internet the last decade. I don’t know why he bothered, everyone watching literally has Google at their fingertips if they wanted to check if any of what he was saying was true or relevant.

He also insulted the interviewer a lot, calling him a “slimy rat” for no reason, saying things like, “Someone of your intelligence would think that, wouldn’t you?” It was not enjoyable to watch. From what I could see and hear, the interviewer was polite but awkward after the third insult, fake-laughing and not knowing how to act with a live stream audience watching. It was unnecessary to treat someone like utter shit and it was like the old dude was trying to be edgy…only potential readers, such as myself, were turned off. When celebrities/other have opinions I don’t agree with, I usually roll my eyes and just appreciate their work, which usually has nothing at all to do with their personal life. So, would I read this guy’s stuff? Yes, he didn’t get to be celebrated by being bad at his craft, but it did make me wonder what was so great about this person.

The live comment section spoke for itself. People couldn’t understand why he was being so mean, and airing his opinions about everything except the subject matter they’d tuned in for. His self-indulgence wasn’t something any of us cared about. I came there to watch him discuss his work and my excitement quickly diminished to the point where I was openly commenting that the interviewer was a legend for taking the insults well without snapping. I also commented with regards to how much I care about this author’s lame opinions on politics and the world outside his house, (which he admitted his wife handles every aspect of, including the computer he was using to grace us all with his imperial presence.) I wasn’t sure he was able to read them or if they were vetted first, so later, I asked a Dorothy-Dixer-type question; something typical that he’d lose no sweat answering. My question and pic flashed on the screen, and his eyes dipped but he did his utmost to talk the whole time so it went unanswered. It was the only one he didn’t answer. Haha okay, mate. Hilarious! He’d obviously seen my earlier comments on his conduct.

I never want to have low opinions of other creators, much less write about them, but the question about ego sent to me made me think I should. My opinion on whether an ego helps an author is mostly NO. If someone had a big ego, they might have the confidence to push hard to get their books in certain stores or have spots on the radio where they discuss their work but other than that, no. How do you learn anything unless you’re willing to realise you know nothing? How do you research if you think you know everything so you don’t bother to interview a witness to a crime or someone who’s lived through trauma to make your characters more authentic? I don’t see how having an ego outweighs not having one. And this guy…He needs to be told he’s an elderly man, he may have had obligatory respect from people over the years due to his standing, but newcomers/some younger people have no idea who he is. He displayed a bad attitude that turns people off wanting to know more about him and his work.

 

 

TLDR:

*I watched a Q and A with a famous author 

*He had a bad attitude.

*I forgot not everyone is like me and some believe their shit dun stink.

*He didn’t answer my question or antagonise me after my comments because Ever, the Witty Troll would’ve come out and mopped the floor with his wrinkled face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

 

Rest in Peace, English language. 

I know everything evolves, and languages have come a long way, changed and new words are created every now and then and make it into dictionaries, recognised as standard…but these abominations have been on my mind lately. I plan to add to this list in the future. If you have suggestions, send them through. We can all barf together.

Irregardless: The recent inclusion of this into some dictionaries is vomit-inducing. I was always able to identify woeful pseudo-intellectuals by the use of this when reading their holier-than-thou social media comments. It showed the person spouting off their virtue signal/strawman arguments was trying too hard and, like most simple grammatical errors, made me think they obviously don’t care to self-reflect or improve themselves, lack ser;f-awareness or capacity for reflection. Yes.

WOW, I’m a judgemental old crank when it comes to this stuff. Reading what I just wrote is hilrious. Maybe I need a nap.

“Could’ve went”: One of the worst and fastest spreading diseases on the interwebs. I watch a lot of YouTube videos on crimes, comedy, narrated Reddit stories etc. When recounting things, the narrators say variations of “she could’ve went to the neighbours house for help,” “I know if I’d went to the gym, I’d have bigger muscles.” The word you are looking for is “gone,” you imbeciles. It’s compounding when you see these YouTube channels have thousands of subscribers and not one person in the comment section picked up the issue. I love free speech, all of it, whatever you want to say and however you want to say it. No one should be able to police the sounds that come out of your face…but this irks me.

Could of: Bleh! The phrase is “could have.” I see this a lot with Aussie bogans, text messages and quickly-written rants by people. I hate this.

Tooken: Yes, I shit you not. I have seen comments on social media groups where people use this…word? This one makes me sad. The last time I remember seeing the word was in a group about medical issues. It came from a concerned mother who was upset her daughter was sick. She said “I’ve tooken her to the doctor already but the meds aren’t working.” Tooken. It reminds me of the part in LOTR where Gandalf scolds Pippin for being a dickhead.

“Fool of a took!”

Sickth: People say this IRL. These are usually in parts of the UK. I’ve mentioned this once before, Ed Sheeran says it in one of his songs that’s played ad nauseam on commercial radio. You are not Ed Sheeran, and you don’t even live in the UK. You’re lazy and can’t be bothered saying the X in the word. The word is siXth. When I first heard people saying this online (in videos etc) I had to run it back a few seconds and try to determine what the word was or if they’d made a mistake..but then they would repeat it later in the video.

Ran: “I could’ve ran away.” Replacing “run” with ran is so stupid. It sounds like a young kid desperately trying to say something’s happened to their friend at the playground and they’re stumbling on words and trying to get it out but it’s jumbled because they’re panicked.

Is and are are not interchangable: Grown adults in YouTube videos, even news presenters live at a scene, say things like ” “There is more people here than originally reported,” “Is all those people in there here for the concert?”  Writing this at my slave gig…someone across the aisle just said, “There is a lot of problems with that.”  

Bought and brought: Another thing people in my regular life say. Quite a few people I know don’t seem to understand the difference, and a couple of them are responsible for educating others in a professional capacity. Bought: you purchased it. Brought: it accompanied you somewhere. If you BOUGHT it, a truck BROUGHT it to you. It’s not hard. Reading it actually confuses me when they text me something like “I brought this cool new game.” Okay…where? Where did you bring it? Oh, you paid for a new game? Ohhhh, that’s what you meant.

Pacific: I was watching a youtuber who analyses movies. He made some good points, drew attention to themes and backstory, Easter eggs and more, but then said “pacifically.” 

Special mention: “you’re” and “your,” but they’re so often exchanged by people, it mostly goes without saying and obviously this only happens in text/comments/letters etc. I’ve turned a corner. It makes me laugh and roll my eyes but it used to make me angry! I stopped being so annoyed when I was furiously writing a text, thumbs in a frenzy, angry about something I wanted to recount to a friend and…when I pressed send there was a YOUR…instead of a YOU’RE.

Accidents happen. We do our best editing after we hit “publish.” I’m not going to be hard on myself when there are people walking around saying tooken. XD

 

 

TLDR:

*Grammar mistakes happen.

 *If you don’t use certain simple words correctly, it makes people (like me lol) think you can’t be bothered with things I respect like self-improvement/reflection.

*Kids in second grade understand the difference between “bought” and “brought.”

*It’s been a tough week. It seems that my content is ranty when I’m stressed. LOL

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

I have crackheads on my mind today.

My car was broken into in April. It came right after a major personal drama and as my illness was subsiding for what would be a month and a half reprieve before it came back with a vengeance. I was playing a game right before, but was watching a youtube video and winding down for the night. I thought I heard the sound when you pull up the door handle on a car. I sat there for a moment, and then it became the way it usually does when you hear something…“did I really hear that?” and “Maybe it was a neighbour.”  I stood up and turned on the light outside, the intention of going out there to see what’s up, but I put on pants (lol) and then just forgot about it. 

The next morning, I went outside and my car door was open. Technically, I guess it wasn’t broken into because obviously I’d left the car unlocked, so my stupidity was on my mind as I walked to the open door. There was stuff everywhere, all over the passenger’s seat. The glove compartment was hanging open, as were all the other drawers and things. All the loose change I keep for parking meters and midnight Macca’s runs was gone! :O  And the middle console’s contents were strewn everywhere. I don’t own anything worth stealing. I didn’t have a cool sound system, mod cons or GPS or cameras. So they made off with about fifteen bucks in change and they had to touch my disgusting unwashed (probably) staphy jujitsu belt, novelty sunglasses, playbills, old socks and a few dirty bandages. Yes, I’m disgusting. It’s funny now though, isn’t it?

Turning on the light probably scared them off and nothing major happened in the car, just my junk food fund got stolen.

Fucking. Crackheads.

The worst part was the mosquitoes who moved in and didn’t disappear until I unleashed a smoke bomb of bug spray and sealed the doors. (Insert evil laugh here.)

 My neighbour is a crackhead that’s not really a crackhead.  I think he might have been a crackhead(?) and that’s why his brain is fried but I don’t think he takes any mind-altering substances at the moment. My friends know my plight. From hearing him talk to himself at all hours, touching himself, to pissing in his back courtyard, to hiding my bins so the garbage truck can’t take them, to him showering naked in his garden tap before my parents arrive for Christmas lunch…it’s been a horrifying adventure. And one no one seems to help with when I go through the appropriate channels to change it. Talking to this guy is a wild ride, he’s lucid when he’s engaged but when you’ve been talking for a few minutes, he starts repeating himself and goes off on strange tangents then brings up “spiritual boundaries” etc.

He’s told me once that no one cares if I live or die and then talked about women he’d known who had been sexually assaulted. What a joy to be around. I could dedicate reams of blog posts to this man alone.

The third crackhead I thought about is the one I met at VJ’s complex the other day. I parked my car and waited because it was raining. Then I had to rearrange a bunch of things in the trunk and on the passenger’s seat. I could feel someone’s eyes on me the whole time. I saw a guy in the background with his roller door up, standing inside his garage and talking on the phone. He was tall, crackhead-skinny, long hair tied up and sticking through the back of his stained cap. The complex has a massive driveway that runs between all the houses. I had to walk past him to head to VJ’s. He finished his phone call as I locked the car and started up the long driveway running alongside his property… I wasn’t sure exactly what he said first but I think it was “nice surprise, looking good, girl.” He asked how I was etc. I said hi back. Taking the great Joko Willink’s advice, when a crackhead is deliberately making eye contact/trying to get your attention, you can acknowledge them, let them know you’ve seen them and give them that small bit of attention they apparently want. Plus, I was still actively walking away.  I gave a throwaway comment about the rain, how it’d been a nice day before I set out and now look (continuing my walk the whole time.) He said something about it still being a good day and then he said, “The day might not be looking good, but you sure are.”

*shudders* 

I’m not an angry 3rd wave “feminist.” I literally don’t care if some idiot wants to whistle, yell out that I’m “hot” or even if he yells some dumb shit that will never happen, like to show him my boobs. This is Australia, the land of the yobs. Whatever, mate. In my personal experience, most guys will leave it at that, and it’s more about them trying to be outlandish for their friends or even to have a giggle to themselves. This guy seemed to be in that category, but also trying his luck. Maybe it’s worked on female crackheads before(?) and they were able to make beautiful crackhead music together, bang some sticks and infected needles on a glass pipe or something. Like a triangle.

The war on drugs should have been the war on mental illness, and maybe we wouldn’t have so many people walking around looking like we’re on set of The Walking Dead. Don’t even get me started on poppy fields and corruption on every level. There is also a level of personal responsibility. There are people who’d like to spend all day getting high and don’t, working on themselves instead. Whatever opinion you have on crackheads…They still exist. And they make life interesting…but they should leave me the fuck alone.

 

 

 

 

TLDR:

*My mind wandered to crackheads. That is all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

 Obsta principiis – Resist the beginnings