My friend recently had a birthday, it was a milestone birthday.

I’ve never had a big one of my own. 16th, 18th, 21st etc. It either came down to no one being available, no room to have the function, or just lack of my own will to organise it all.

I was the person who made things happen in my family, and all my relationships, I was the only one who wanted to make life more exciting (lol) so when it came time for me, I was usually exhausted and opted to do things low key. I had no problem working on my birthday, and even went in to work once when I wasn’t rostered on (in my early twenties) because that was where most of my friends were and I honestly (and maybe embarrassingly) couldn’t think of a place I’d rather be. The year prior to that, I’d taken half a day off and come home to a boyfriend arriving at my house and then asking me if there was something I wanted to do. He never had money, never had a plan and I was covered in fish guts and tired from starting at 6am. I didn’t expect anything but I know if the situation was reversed, it wouldn’t have gone down like that. Rather than ask questions or draw assumptions, I just said it was okay, and that we would stay in the house and call it a day, tried to be grateful just to be home and off my feet.

I was always involved with deadbeats who never had money when it came time for me. I didn’t know better.

One year I was dating a “man” who waited until 3 days before my birthday and told me he had no money. The same day I remember coming to my senses about the situation when I was on my hands and knees on his living room floor wrapping Mother’s Day presents for his mum and grandmother. ((Mother’s Day being slightly after my birthday.)) That, and the fact that he’d told me he was out of money as he was unloading 4 cases of beer from the back of his car.

You thought the Mr Passion series was bad, wait until I start airing dirty laundry about the men I was too broken to leave.

Back to birthdays: Who organises their own surprise party anyway? The only way I’d have one of those is if I did all of the work. lol

I’d organise my own dinners with a group of friends, but I didn’t have a big party apart from my 25th.
It was Alice in Wonderland themed, in my backyard at the time. I bought a marquee/tent thing and then made and bought a whole pile of treats and foods. I got my mother to make a topsy turvy lopsided cake, roughly in the shape of a hat and told everyone to dress up. I made invitations from playing cards, and it was all down to me to make it happen. It was okay, for what it was. But that was the last time I really tried.

When my next milestone rolls around, I think I’ll just do nothing. And maybe it’s being generally depressed, but I don’t see the point. I never really have, I just wanted an excuse to dress up and have fun. My friends group has become much smaller the last few years as others started families and moved around, got other jobs and moved on. It’s harder to get people together and, like I discovered at the Alice in Wonderland party, it doesn’t go the way you want. Ever. At that party, nearly everyone arrived saying they had eaten or they weren’t hungry OR had a dinner function later and didn’t want to eat. (This “party” was in the afternoon like in the real Alice story.) Everything I did was kind of a waste of time. We still had activity stations and messed around but I knew I probably wouldn’t bother much next year. From then on, I had a few large gatherings for dinner at a restaurant but nothing more. And I always hate making people pay for themselves, I wanted a function I could cater and control but I got used to the way things are done now.

My friend’s milestone birthday was small because of me, she assumed I’d plan something and invite my friends and make something happen for our joint celebration. Our birthdays are near each other and we’ve always tried to do SOMETHING joint, even just dinner or an activity/BBQ etc. This time I couldn’t make it happen, so I feel bad. I just don’t feel the desire to make anything happen for my birthday this year, at least not right now. This year has been a succession of shit. And I’m in need of a lot of rest.

Here’s to hoping I get a second wind to make a belated celebration happen in a few weeks time.

 

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You used to be cool.

 

There are always going to be people who think outside the box, eccentric and larger than life. The genuine one in a billion, crazy sons-of-bitches that you know only come around once in your life, if at all. Then there’s the misfits who tried to make themselves into a character in order to be celebrated somehow. But, when you all have the same shade of badly-dyed hair and a misinformed shitty political opinion, you’re laughable because it’s just sad.

Sad, because it appears people mistake what used to be being “alternative” and into the strange side of life now as a crutch for their lacking personality and for the excuse to never develop themselves into anything more

AND what is with the subculture now being those who want a family, a decent job and to lead a productive life?

I feel it too, and I was “alternative” for the majority of my adult life (still got tiny holes in my face to prove it) before I started seeing people who didn’t “get it” try and latch onto people like me. We would try to reiterate that we were different even though, to the untrained eyed, we were the same. So, maybe that’s what’s happening now with the current cultural shifts, you know, the shift to dyeing your hair blue and demanding (not earning) copious amounts of whatever version of respect they try to garner from you.

Ha! You people thought Millennials came across as entitled.

This new set of fuck trophies is the epitome of misguided, entitled, nieve know-nothings.  I feel so old writing that, I’m sure elderly people have thought that about me on more than one occasion but I guess I’m just blessed with articulation and an online blog to talk -S-. I was also blessed with growing up with the burgeoning internet so, unfortunately, I’ve been privvy to the changing world and the people who call it home more than a Boomer or those who misjudged me.

I think part of it has to do with too many choices. Like the online dating scene, swiping and writing someone off so easily has had consequences to the psyche of individuals, I think having so much access to seeing how other people behave or look has done the same. People say that about trans people who are young and wanting attention – that a large element of it is social contagion. It seems true in some situations, and it’s similar in other areas. There are so many different people and industries, so many “influencers” making money that it’s no wonder people are struggling with their identities and trying to stand out in a world with so much competition. Everyone is looking to be different from the different, and celebrated for literally doing and being nothing worth paying attention to.

No, chances are you aren’t special.

Chances are you may have…one(?) talent of some kind and whatever that is doesn’t cut it in the real world…Mostly you’ve just been blessed with the desire to need attention or get to the top anyway you can.  The problem with that is….you’re just like everyone else, nothing out of the ordinary

And that was never a bad thing; throughout history people lived productive lives in their corner of the world without damaging themselves psychologically by comparing their lives to others or even thinking about trying to take over the world by showing their ass on social media.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden

 

(((I just gotta say it. And if you want a slightly more in-depth take then watch the vid. There will probably be more that actually cite more hard fact.)))

I did an EVER SOMETHING TO SAY episode touching on the subject of guns again. My disdain with an overly-vocal group of misinformed, shit-don’t-stink Australian citizens who think they know what they’re talking about is well-known. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but these opinions often come from the keyboards of those who know absolutely nothing about they countries they are comparing themselves to or the facts around the pew pews.

You know the type, they read a headline about a tragedy in the USA, usually in a gun free zone with a mentally ill person committing an act…and you scroll down to see the galaxy-brained Aussies chime in with their worthless commentary, hastily written between smelling their own farts and getting blind-drunk on the weekend in the only culture we seem to have.

It gets to me because of the ignorance. I enjoy different opinions, even the ones that are completely incredulous or illogical (it tells me your IQ and I know what I can trust you with in future.)  The post and the episode was spawned by someone in my circle who caught me very, very off-guard with one of the dumbest takes I’d ever heard and it actually made me sad that I knew someone who

1. Was learned and experienced in life but could hold an opinion (not even a theoretical proposition) so ridiculous…

2. Someone who frequently had disagreements with their own smaller circles, regarding politics and the recent handling of the Scamdemic, who generally had their head screwed on regarding other subjects; looks into facts, follows the money and keeps their ear to the ground. (ALL OF THE CLICHES!) thought that it was a viable option, even just theoretically.
3. Had a pipe dream that was so Kumbaya, fairytale, utopia-like, it was beautiful in its naive stupidity.
4. You’re nearing 40. Are you serious? You’re not even high right now.

 

Australian people are naive and stupid.

We just are.

It has a beauty in that fact though: imagine being so privileged and “safe,” so well-off, so secure that you have the room to dream this stupid Utopian fantasy. So…What was it?

They said they don’t think anyone, anywhere should have a firearm, and even law enforcement and armies shouldn’t “be allowed” to carry.

LOL

Who enforces that? Do we elect a body to govern that? Who polices it? How do the weapons get rounded up? How do you know you got them all? How will they enforce that if they aren’t allowed to have guns either.

Having being held up at gunpoint (something I discuss in the ESTS ep) in a gun-free country, I can tell you firsthand, that your pipedreams don’t work in reality. Only the criminals here have firearms and weapons, and bless you if you are so lucky that your echelon cannot be reached by these types, other than some sort of freak occurrence.

As I also say in the episode, Cain killed Abel with a rock – meaning evil people find ways to exact their will on people. Gun control only looks like it works in this country (to outsiders or even lucky people inside) because we are very sparsely populated, and the population as a whole is only 26 million people. In the entire country. There are states in the USA with that many people and to compare the two ventures into strawman arguments that most of us don’t have time for. You can do an internet search for news articles and see that the criminals here not only have firearms but that others will use bats, knives, syringes and more to threaten and injure.

Needless to say, the topic was so laughable, someone I generally respected and thought had their head on straight could not only come up with that (hey, I will entertain theoretical ideas) but to legitimately argue against three other people about it with (IMO) misplaced emotion…I just had to take to the internet to register my confusing and shock.

Again, something about it is lovely in its simple stupidity, very childlike and hopeful but an utter waste of my time. At least it was content.

 

 

 

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All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden

 

 

 

When I first looked at publishing the Darkrose novels, I was wary of self-publishing, it didn’t seem like it was the best option for a few years…and now it’s the same playing field (almost.) There are film adaptations to some books written by indie authors – which is such a great thing because a good idea is a good idea regardless of how it was packaged. So much was changing that I just did it and hoped for the best – that I wouldn’t screw it up.

When I created this website, it was to run alongside my work, and maybe have some people read the blog because I genuinely love to write. It was going to give me an opportunity to present something every week. I imagined it would be other indie authors maybe who might read it, maybe some curious, random people from time to time. I never knew what I was aiming for, I just wanted to write and didn’t mind if the clicks were 2 or 200. It was exciting either way to know someone gave you five minutes of their time to read something you’d written.

After posting some subject matter (on a connected but personal account,) memes that were political/in disagreement with their bought off,admittedly-solicited-by-government agendas and narrative, I guess social media didn’t like me.  I noticed that EVER EDEN’s reach was limited and muted all of a sudden. The drop was substantial.

Shadow-banning is real. My hits on posts that I advertised or pasted on certain social media sites suddenly went from 150 views to 3views some weeks.

It’s amazing what the powers that be can do to you. And I’m just a random indie author who posts memes in downtime. I did care at first because I  felt it was something that had momentum and was kind of fun. I don’t care now. I’d always wanted to write for me and maybe a cult-following of meme hoarding savages who liked to laugh, think about deep issues and maybe have a big a crush on Agent Starr as I do. It’s my hope this will happen again, without my having to lick the taint of social media giants who wish to stifle someone who commits WRONGTHINK but sharing memes or a quip about their dementia-ridden commander in chief. To be honest though, I think it was mostly the Rona commentary, which was hard not to want to say something about the way that was handled and it happened after I posted a QUOTE from my PUBLISHED BOOK: KING OF SPADES.

Any time I posted or advertised my book or page with the quote, it would get taken down, rejected, and even got warnings that it went against “community guidelines.” Which quote? It’s something Agent Cleo Darkrose says in King of Spades while talking to a useful-idiot type, nothing too crazy or controversial. It doesn’t even have swearing in it.

 

THE OFFENDING QUOTE:

“This world isn’t run by presidents or government, it’s controlled by people whose wealth is incomprehensible.”

 

 

I mean, isn’t that common knowledge? Oh, and it’s a FICTIONAL book. You scared, bro?

It’d be funny if it wasn’t so, so, so sad. Censors are working hard to stamp out any smoke around the fires. It just shows me that with art, we change the world.

The groups I was in on social media were full of a certain type of people, seemingly those with a blad personality who weren’t going to understand the ideas I had or the topics I was interested. When you have knowledge or an informed option and the articulation to express it, you feel the need to and occasionally I did that here…but for the most part, I kept it palatable for all types of people(I tried to.) I flirted with infusing some opinion and then Rona happened. And I couldn’t NOT say something. Even then, I held back.

Doing the “Ever Something to Say” started out with me dictating old blog posts, using text to speech programs before giving in and using my voice. But I found that it tethered me. I couldn’t make side notes or jokes, or even deliver the lines the way I’d initially written them without semi-rehearsing; reading the line a few times over. It was time-consuming and felt like I was acting. Now, it’s commentary on stuff that’s happening as well as random stories from this thing I call my life.

Sometimes I don’t know if I should keep doing it because there’s no goal behind it. I just got bored one day and now it’s a thing.

I kept promising Red Cowboys releases that never came, and I intended them to be genuine but then my physical health worsened and on top, just as life would have it, I had another few challenges…I experienced 2 friends die. It’s the shock, recovery, thoughts and what ifs. I haven’t forgotten Red Cowboys, it’s just…I experienced more dreams that were dashed.

It’s been a day.

Thus ends my stream-of-consciousness blog post.