Butchery
September 23, 2021 3:59 am Leave your thoughtsFlattery comes in many forms. Apparently.
Some forms include IMITATION – which was extremely annoying and didn’t make any sense while growing up. Conceited as it may sound, I had/have style and didn’t find interest in mimicking others. I was also into Fandoms before it was “cool” to be a nerd, and had no shame about it. I was on email lists; your fanclub would REPLY ALL – constantly, all day, thousands of emails a week. You were either in or you were out – none of this, checking the tv show’s Instagram or website at your leisure. You were repeatedly punched in the face with it. So you’d better love that show like it was your firstborn child.
I cosplayed and took cool pics, that were horrible quality, just to show friends and practice makeup skills. I was also “Goth,” (not “emo”) because I gravitated to those people who usually used their darkness to create, and to be some of the funniest people I’ve ever met. I’m arty, I like to be theatrical. I like to dress in themes sometimes. Sometimes I want my outfits to be an art piece (for eg) if I wanted to have a theme of a Lorikeet maybe I’d wear a blue headband and a pointed red necklace of some sort to represent a beak. (*I’ve never dressed as a fucking Lorikeet, it’s an example.)
Many people have copied me. Some pretended to like things that I did until they believed their own bullshit and got more obsessed than I was about my favourite bands, clothes, shows, celebrities, fictional characters and more. Usually those friends had the money to take it further than I did lol, so it doubley-sucked.
When you’re younger and go to a friend’s house to see the music album you’d desperately wanted but had to wait for a sale when they got it on the first day because their parents were well off…ugh. If they were a genuine fan, you wouldn’t begrudge them that, but they jumped on the bandwagon because they could. As a very young person, that becomes frustrating.
It emerges in adulthood too. Only now when I encounter these people I shrug and feel a little bad for them.
THE WAY IT PRESENTS IN ADULTHOOD 
You’re strolling through your favourite bookshop with a friend and you reallllyy want a book – with a hefty pricetag… You shouldn’t buy it because you haven’t been paid yet and you have upcoming bills. Your friend likes the book too because it’s pretty, your friend decides it’s a good project to get into because you seem to have so much fun with it, and they buy it with you standing right next to them. They make a big deal about how cool it is the following weekend and make recipes from said book to post all over their social media.
….Annnnnnd then they post an angry status later about them dropping the food all over the grass…and even add pictures!
*stifles laughter* Sorry not sorry.
GET RID OF PERCEIVED COMPETITION/JEALOUSY
Teens are weird creatures, at least when I was one. I was mercilessly bullied for years. By many people. I can’t remember this particular bitch’s specific transgressions but I remember that she intimidated me a lot. I could feel her staring all the time and waiting on a reason to say something about me. She wasn’t loud about it when she was alone, but she still went out of her way to make me feel bad. The worst of the bullying from this time was abated by my access to the photocopier in the library after school. It brought me a lot of joy to photocopy pictures of fairies and mystical lands so that I could colour them in and glue them to the front of schoolbooks etc.
Her last name was BUTCHER. -For the purposes of this post I will call her Bitcher. The class I had with this ugly blonde, Bitcher was Home Ec. (I think. And I was only in it because MetalWork filled up fast that year.) I think she was the teacher’s favourite – she’d make a lot of things well and sometimes even stay behind to work and chat with her. I wasn’t great at the subject, but there was an assignment we were working on for weeks that I actually liked. It involved finding an image you liked and tracing it with a PROJECTOR onto material to make a big cushion, then painting it. I chose one of my fairies and worked hard to get it right. The background had a lot of paint, splotches and details. I was very happy with it, the teacher was very happy with it . I took it home to show my mum before the final touches and the insert of the cushion. Cue returning to class, adding final touches, hanging it out to dry outside the classroom with work belonging to other students, on the agreement the teacher would round them all up after we went home and she was locking up…then mine being the only one to go missing.
Every time the teacher mentioned my piece, and for students to keep an eye out for it, Bitcher would be looking at me Mona Lisa-smiling.
I couldn’t get graded for it and I couldn’t do another one because it had taken all of us weeks and there was no time. The teacher had to grade me on what she saw previously while I was making it, and my mum was down a present her young teen made her.
STOLEN
KOS keeps getting stolen from my slave gig.
I ain’t mad tho.
We have community book shelves; people donate their old books/books they don’t want at home anymore. Then people borrow them. There are books you can check out without having to go to a library (yes, libraries still exist) buy them online, download or do anything that requires brain power. You literally have to walk past the shelves to go to the toilet block. I’ve seen books disappear and reappear, and I’ve watched people stand at the shelf and take the time to select something. It may be revealing too much of the nerd in me, but that’s exciting to me!
I walked past to get a good pic today but the books look beat up haha
This is not the first time I put KOS on the shelf with the others, or the first time it’s gone missing. But this time was funny.
The first time it went missing – Bitcher was on my mind immediately. I started trying to think of anyone who might resent me for some reason and whether they would throw it away. I even walked around a few of the open trash cans to glance in. I also thought maybe the two people at work who know I have a series being published took it home for themselves (- completely fine lol but it would have been nice to get a review!)
When I thought well maybe someone borrowed it, like I’d wanted. Only it never came back. Bitcher still on my mind, I pushed on. A few months later I moved work spaces, near another one of these community bookshelves. I set out with KOS, stuff for my other side project and got a lot of things done. I put KOS on the shelf and went to the toilets. When I came back through the hall (literally about 3 mins later) it was gone.
Bitcher!/weird excitement/where’d it go?/I will catch whoever it is/I wonder who has it/if it’s in the trash I will see it on top this time. *walks faster, rounds a corner to a section I don’t go to*
AHA!!!
An older woman was pulling her chair under her, lowering herself and reading the blurb at the back of KOS. I went back to my area feeling good and hoping she likes swearing…
King of Spades never returned to the shelf!
This was a little annoying because I want other people to be able to read it, but it was also flattering because it went home with someone who was interested, and that’s what I wanted! I just kiiinda wanted more than one person to do that.
TLDR:
*Some bitch in high school was a bitch.
*Some people steal copies of King of Spades from work lol
*Some wounds don’t heal right and you have scars decades later.
*I spoke to my best friend from high school about this post. She told me not to make excuses for the behaviour of “that ugly bitch with the weirddd looking face” because personalities are formed by then and she knew what she was doing. Nasty people are just nasty, no excuses. You make a choice to be cruel.
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