Can’t Stop.
October 26, 2025 12:52 pm Leave your thoughts
Cleo Darkrose
I took a break after the murder of Charlie Kirk. Not for that reason, it just coincided, but that is a western world event that can landmark when I just…couldn’t.
I’ve been struggling in a depression (prior and now) that is thick and brutal. I’ve sat at the keyboard and wanted to write, had so many ideas for EVER SOMETHING TO SAY, I made some half-videos and stopped halfway through. A lot has happened in the past couple of years, never would yeet myself or something, but the days are hard to get through with this heaviness.
Someone broke me.
The worst anyone ever has.
And it’s a lot to come back from. Sometimes it sucks me down like quicksand and I’m gasping for weeks until I can reach a decaying vine and just manage to pull myself out.
I flirt with the idea of writing a non-fiction book regarding the fallout of the experience. I also wanted to complete a book re: the miscarriage and some other medical issues in relation. I even have two ideas for fiction novels, one of which would most likely result in another series.
One of the things that has been distracting me enough to breathe is thinking about some scenes in KOS and making some AI pictures. I imagine what it would be like one day if a film was ever made about the Darkrose world. Seeing actors portray the story or even a comic book would be very cool and surreal. I started out thinking the series would have an accompanying graphic novel each time I released one but I wanted to write AND draw it. As with most things, it was a case of USE IT OR LOSE IT…and my artistic ability has waned in the decades since I was 17. (HA!) Maybe one day…
My life has been a whirlwind since the release of KOS, it never slowed down to a pace where I was able to dedicate the huge chunk of myself I wanted to. I have experienced major losses and turmoil. The good times were fleeting and it led to where I’m at now. I hope to regain my drive, Ever Something to Say was a way of staying in touch with performance, writing, just interacting.
Never think I have left for good.
I have too much to create.
Tags: anxiety, author, break, cleo darkrose, depression, dreamer, engagement, EVER SOMETHING TO SAY, heartbreak, hi again, hiatus, king of spades, KOS, mental health, personal, rumble