Fine. (The Depp trial)

June 16, 2022 12:43 pm Published by EverEden Leave your thoughts

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Errrybody got an opinion on Amber Heard.

I didn’t want to write about this but I may as well because everyone else seems to need to amplify their opinion and some of theirs are really shite.

I knew famous guy Johnny Depp had married some lady. I know of Johnny Depp’s work from older days, when I worshipped the holy trinity; Depp, Elfman and Burton. Any movie with those three meant awesomeness. I hadn’t seen much else of his work. I, like everyone else on the planet, saw the first couple of Pirates of the Carribbean movies, and I even have a pair of underwear with the franchise title written on the ass and a skull and cross bones on the front.

I had no idea who Amber Heard was prior to the circus that has played out the last few years. I thought maybe she was a model we’d never heard about because she was semi-famous in some European country, you know like how Leo D’caprio dates all those much younger model-types. I don’t care about Pedowood, and it’s been a lonnnnng time since I’ve found anyone there attractive, or even to be a good actor. The last time I was speechless about someone’s acting ability, it was a few kids in some horror movies, and I’ll always have a special spot for Jon Bernthal.

HE IS SO BADASS!!!!!!

So, yes, no idea who this broad was. I saw a few pics of them together online, but I didn’t care. I also heard rumblings of her accusing him of something…or…something? Again, didn’t know enough to care and I was busy living my own life.

But this trial…it was a popcorn-fest.

I watched all of it. After watching the entire Kyle Rittenhouse saga, I was hooked on more court proceedings. I’ve always liked observing them but why not sign up to watch a celebrity circus this time? Hey, at least I wasn’t those women lining up outside the court to get a glimpse of someone I found attractive in the 90’s in the midst of some teenage angst and burgeoning sexuality or something.

When you’re in Australia, time difference is a pain in the ass, but I stayed up as late as I could, catching 3 hours sleep before my slave gig and then coming home to watch replays of the few hours I’d missed. It was interesting and entertaining, and not just because of my field of study, although watching court proceedings is helpful. It was a mind-boggling parade of vacuous, empty vessels with dead looks on their faces testifying for the defense, and the prosecution featured a cast of characters that were almost cliche’d caricatures.

Johnny Depp’s testimony was entertaining. He presented as a flawed, older guy who had stumbled into the situation and was too dazed to really know what was going on. But he did. He seemed relaxed on the stand (as much as someone could be while hearing uncomfortable text messages he’d sent read out in front of everyone. ) I guess if you’re a famous actor and the whole world has probably seen your hairy ass in some dumb sex scene, that you would be able to handle a man reading out your text about having “other uses” for Amber’s throat. You could tell early on that this was a man who was used to being diplomatic, personable to anyone he encountered, and that he’d done it for years. He had charisma, humour and likable qualities as well as attitude back to the attorney cross-examining him. He came across very…human. Because he was also fucked up, with a drug abuse past and his own issues.

Whether this was a tactic or not – it did him good because he seemed to level with the jury and the public in the galley. It also was apparent that even if he wanted to get on the stand to lie through his teeth, not only about the incidents he was accused of but also himself and his personality, that kind of thing would be very hard for someone who took 5 minutes to string together only 2 sentences.

If you have any sense of what it’s like to be the target of domestic violence, if you can read body language reasonably well, if you know how to perform…you know Heard’s testimony was something to witness. It was surreal, and it was bad. I thought maybe this was an elaborate method acting exercise for the both of them that she was clearly failing. Suffice to say, no one seems to know what her strategy was on the stand, but it was not convincing. I’ve seen some social media accounts very much TEAM AMBER but from someone who watched every second of that fuckn trial, there is really no way you could be.

The “evidence” she presented eg: two pictures of a bruise, were forensically analysed and shown to be digitally modified, and the handful of former friends called out of obscurity to testify…but who stumbled their way through mumbled recounts they barely remembered.

*Side note, isn’t it funny how shit people always seem to have new friends but no one around that they’ve known for more than maybe a year or two.

They were fairweather friends who seemed to like the penthouses Depp let them stay in for free and the lifestyle of free alcohol and trips to places, and then disappeared when defamation suits etc started to become serious. The interviews seemed to give me the distinct impression that none of Heard’s former friends wanted to be in touch with her anymore and that it was nothing but a thang to lie for her at the time when they were all high AF and it was all fun but since time has moved forward, probably have been thinking about perjury or being complicit in Heard’s antics and were trying to avoid their own possible negative press, fines or jail time (whatever they thought may happen to them after the trial.) Perhaps the most-cringeworthy video deposition was Heard’s former best friend, who apparently no longer spoke to her, but whose teary recount only became detailed and teary the day after the first half of her no-emotion, bewildered testimony happened. Playing the tapes back-to-back was probably a very bad idea because the probable goading or coaching seemed to have taken place between the two times the camera was switched to “record” and the contrast between the two was laughable.

The infamous testimony of TMZ’s Morgan Tremaine confirmed Heard’s publicist had called Paparazzi to show up at her court appearance(when she was applying for a restraining order knowing he was out of the country so he couldn’t dispute it, and that he wouldn’t be back for months) and then take pictures to further defame Depp. The Paparazzi were informed, that they were to take a photo of an apparent bruise on Heard’s right cheek— that went suspiciously unseen the next day as she was photographed fresh-faced, jogging with a friend.

He also became known for his cheeky quip, rebounding an accusation back at Heard’s team for implying he was only testifying to have his “15 minutes.” Then there was…the GRUMPY(a word I’m trying to work into every conversation like a motherfucker.) The literal chunk of shit left on Depp’s side of the bed, which, when asked about, made him and everyone else laugh as he stuttered and tried for a polite answer. Then there’s testimony of the cops at the scene of an apparent domestic incident who did not believe Heard was the victim at the scene, the testimony of personal psychologists about her mental disorders that may account for her attention seeking behaviour, and an acting coach with the haunting line about Amber Heard never being able to cry on command. Which, by then had become a phenomena in itself across the gossip rags and other because everyone noticed that this bish could.not.cry. on the stand. BUT she kept trying! And failing.

It may have helped her likability factor and story to perhaps go in there as an angry version of herself because the poor feminine, delicate flower, a weak and frail battered woman is hard to pull off…when there’s photographic evidence of a fucking TURD in her husband’s bed, a smashed finger with medical records, and a cigarette burn on his face. Aside from her own damning evidence and failure to present a believable case to the jury who she talked AT (not to) the whole time she testified. Consequently, she lost the case (apart from one item-Depp’s lawyer badmouthing her, not Depp.)

Last week, she completed an interview with Savannah Guthrie…repeating everything she said on the stand and was ruled in the wrong, talking in dramatic and poetic soundbites that made no sense. It’s like she’s trying to be sued again! Or maybe she is really that unaware. Either way, it looks like this lady needs some help to manage her impulses and diagnosed mental illnesses.

Am I TEAM JOHNNY?

Fuck, I dunno, I guess? by default maybe(?) but IDGAF about any of it anymore. I just know what it’s like when someone gaslights and tries to make themselves the victim at the cost to everyone else, and you can’t quite figure out if they believe their own lies. I know what it’s like to experience domestic violence, and I know what it’s like to bust your ass trying to act as a character that you just can’t get the essence of and crack the suspend-belief part for people. Luckily, I worked on that because I wasn’t an arrogant spoilt brat who could accept my mistakes…It didn’t really seem like the defendant was capable of that here.

This is only my opinion, so you might think it’s wrong. I encourage you to watch all parts of the 6 week saga and then write a post about anything proving any part of the defendant’s story that even she kept catching herself up in when the lies caught up on different days of the trial. Or defend the self-recorded proof of her striking Depp. Ugh. Like I said, it was bad, and it was a mess. And I imagine I as well as everyone else who had ever wanted the big bad abuser to get his just desserts wanted this to go the way it looked like it “should,” but then we found out that the bad guy wasn’t the male with a substance abuse problem, the bad guy wore a skirt and heels…and then shat on people’s sheets and blamed tiny dogs.

TLDR:

*Every single streamer I follow has made content about Amber Heard.

*These are my observations.

*I love The Punisher so much, and fuck Netflix for not making more seasons.
*Jon Bernthal is a fucking badass.

* I had to watch 6 weeks of the trial but I also met some great people during the screenings of it. 😉

* Who knows who made these fine meme specimens. Wherever you are, fellow memelord, I salute you.