I Got Married

April 2, 2020 12:41 pm Published by Leave your thoughts

In StarDew Valley.

Starview Valley is a game that was released a few years ago. CC recently bought it for me (“let’s do some chill-ass motherfuckn farming,” ) and it’s taught me a lot of things about the state of my mind the last few weeks and the lessons that I’ve learned but forget to exercise.

(If you don’t play games etc, don’t worry this isn’t a post about the game per se.)

I was apprehensive. The game’s gfx (graphics) looked very retro, and doesn’t “farming sim” mean those shitty little games for phone “gamers?” BUT it’s been fun the last few weeks. With the whole world in either necessary or virtue-signal quarantines and lockdowns, it’s not the worst thing one could be doing.

The game makes you choose a character and appearance and then you get farmland and a few tools to start. You get an axe, a hoe (lulz) and, when you meet an old sailor, a bamboo fishing pole. Your character creates fields to grow crops and walks around town, meeting various people and personalities who reward you for completing their tasks. They also become valuable because they gift you things you need for your farm. There’s a mine to explore and you can collect rare gems, gold ore, and you can also slay monsters…and there’s a beach to collect items from while you juggle raising poorly-named  animals and watering your shitty crops.

I started a farm with CC and let CC do the hard stuff because I didn’t know how to play. That was the first lesson I had reiterated to me…

I was too scared to be embarrassed or to make mistakes.

IKR. Someone who performs, has produced art for exhibitions etc. for decades…yet I had that fear in a game. I wanted to do well because we were a team and I didn’t want to be useless, so it freaked me out. I did menial tasks that didn’t achieve much and stayed close to the buildings where I knew my way around, watering crops and chopping wood while CC went off exploring and making the big money. I put everything else in the hands of someone I thought was better at ‘life’ than me right now.

I was even so nervous that, as we rolled up on a very expensive merchant CC said, “Okay, now be careful what you click here cos-“
AND I CLICKED SOMETHING and accidentally bought expensive seeds we didn’t need. I could give a bunch of other examples from my regular life but let’s stick with Star Dew;

You make more mistakes when you’re nervous about trying not to make any.

Learning to fish is frustrating when you’re first starting out and, yes, there are mods you can get which change it to be automatic but I like to learn the real way. The sound of me losing the catch due to being uncoordinated to the point where I could barely reel it in was embarrassing because CC could hear every time I failed. Now I’m an expert, and if I ever play another joint farm with CC or other, I know what to do so it’s fine…but when your head is focused on trying too hard and worrying about perceptions people may have of you, part of you is dedicated to thinking about that, even if you believe you’re 100% focused on the task at hand.

Now onto Shane…Ah, Shane…my depressed drunk idiot husband. Let me tell you our tale of love…

It begins with getting my own farm and learning other valuable lessons, like to click the X at the top of the screen and shut everything off before going to your farmhouse bed so it doesn’t save all the stupid mistakes you just made. 😀  My farm is cool and I have several animals, a fish pond, 80,000 gold and a fucking fedora to hoe in. *finger guns*

My animals are Cunter the cow, Smacktalka the cow, Panties, and the unfortunately named for a female cow, Gary.

My chickens are: Cack, Fakumo, Bash and  Mangina

My goats: Mr Nibbles and Mr Balls

…annnnd Schmuck, the duck.

Sometimes you need to let your personality/crazy out or you will name a 2D goat Mr Balls.

This told me I needed a fucking break. Corona rules had me staying home and gaming. My personality needed to seep out somewhere and no one has a smile on their face anymore since the Corona Boogeyman stole their shit tickets.

I giggled to myself when I saw the names of my animals pop up at various places in the game after I’d forgotten about them and there was no one else around to see it, but it was funny to me. That snort of air through my nose was worth it. You need to take time to have a laugh and not be too serious. Yes, Star Dew’s a game but it was a reminder that there has to be some fun somewhere in your life and you’re allowed to be an idiot, even if you’re the only person to witness it. (It’s even better that way sometimes.)

Because I was running my own farm,  I could (and can) do whatever I want. I wandered around the town centre really late at night, mostly because I was getting lost all the time, and I’d see drunkass Shane leaving the town saloon. During the day, he’d walk by and only talk to me if I initiated. All, and I mean ALL his quips, interactions and sentences were insulting and rude and other townspeople hinted that Shane was drinking a lot, but I’m Aussie…so what’s “drinking a lot” though really? Probably just some exaggeration to make it interesting for the game…right?

I got a kick out of trying to convince Shane not to be a total butthole to me. You can give people gifts to start friendships so I did this a lot with him. He’d tell me my gifts sucked, asked why I’m bothering to talk to him and he would generally say depressing, angry stuff. Some of it was actually really funny because he was so fucking mean.

I saw Shane alone on a dark pier one night when I was lost again. He said some super depressing, deep and profound stuff…and the next day, I was all about him because he came across as a thinker I could converse with. After a short period of dating and him sending me stolen food from work, we were married and all the townspeople were in attendance.

Then it hit me, as soon as we got home from the wedding, that this clown would be living in my fucking house. Forever.

Me trying to smash his shit.

Look before you leap…

Every action has a reaction and nearly all have consequences. Sometimes they will suck. If you rush into big decisions, particularly one that change your life, you’d better at least have contemplated the downside.  I wanted to add another element to the game besides trying to milk my moody fat cows and making duck egg mayo (I didn’t know that was a thing but it nets you about 400G when sold!) I probably should have been more wary, but I just married Shane, cos why not?

I didn’t realise he was going to stand outside in the morning doing nothing and make comments about whether he’d like a cider or a beer today. I didn’t know he would also add a man cave onto my bedroom, without permission, where he has a TV, permanent muddy footprints on the floor, food wrappers and some other shit I haven’t looked at yet. He quit his job too and then just made food with my supplies and money and stayed at home until 12 when the saloon was open. He is not who I thought he was (they rarely are, ammarite? ;P) 

…but don’t worry too much because most mistakes can be fixed.

Panic set in. I swing violently between wanting to play a game the way I would act IRL (in real life) and also being gun-ho crazy because meh, it’s a game. One morning I was out doing farmer stuff (hoeing in my fedora) and I found him in the woods like this:

Then he started telling me he hated everything and then ended up in a mental ward.

Maybe it’s one for the Memoirs of Ever Eden, but I’ve been down this road before…and playing the game started to make me uncomfortable. I married this dude in game because he was interesting and he had a story. Now he was about to throw me off my farm work, goals, derail everything because of a problem he refused to take care of despite my support. The whole town knew his rep and gave me warnings and I thought they were wrong and I’d make up my own mind…They were right…BUT I found out I could divorce this guy for 50K. So…

Every fish I caught, any ore I mined was all about saving up to get this guy out of my life…

Ugh.

Right now we’re still married because I’ve had the money a few times but other things always come up that need paying…and he has cleaned up his act since I found him in the woods. He even waters the garden sometimes and milks Gary. He is safe for now and he still has a place to stay…even though I’ve moved on to trying to woo a writer type behind his back (shhh.)

Sometimes people don’t want to be saved.

I wanted to prove people wrong, put my money where my mouth is, at a detriment to myself. It made me think of being able to exhaust yourself chasing someone or trying to make them feel better and then get thrown aside anyway. Shane hasn’t done that to me, but a few people have. In the game I go about my farming business and chat to my husband, Shane, a little but I have no interest in meeting him at the saloon to watch him drink for four hours and risk getting home late and unable to do my tasks the next day. It’s okay to go out on a limb for someone, especially if you care about them but if it continually interferes with your life and your own mental health, sometimes you need to let go. 😉

 

 

 

 

TLDR:

*I played Star Dew Valley and it reminded me of some life lessons.

*If you play it, don’t marry Shane. He sucks.

 

 

 

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

 

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