Mr Passion #4 UPRONTS

May 20, 2021 3:04 pm Published by Leave your thoughts

This is the shortest version I could do. Some things are left out.

Back to when my friend was seeing all those guys. I was bored being the chaperone, making sure her recently-skinny ass wasn’t disappeared into the back of some freak’s car. It wasn’t personal, just bored sitting around and waiting. I was happy she was having a good time but when you’re texting people you shouldn’t, watching shitty YouTube vids (btw, move over to Bitchute, Odysee and Rumble) you have to look for something else to do Fuck knows what “UPRONTS“ means or referred to. He messaged me and the conversation was short. The site has stereotypes you have to display on your profile. I chose “arty.” There are categories like “adventurer, class clown, scholar, partier.” He’d chosen “hopeless romantic.”  Okay. We were frustrated with weirdos and time wasters, we wanted to just meet and find out if there was chemistry. We decided to meet a day or two later. He’d had a couple of blurry or faraway pictures on his profile, but he looked sort of okay? Not really my type of attractive TBH, but his eyes were bright and shiny on account of the camera moving in one picture and it looked nice. I threw caution to the wind (or insert whatever cliche you like here,) and gave him my number without my regular vetting. I wore a new dress I knew made me look thinner and I felt old-fashioned compared to the other people at the foreshore/river. He was shorter than his profile stated. (*on this note, it’s not that you’re short, it’s that you fucking lied and that makes you devious but also LAME.) He was still taller than me though. He had worse skin than his profile picture, but he was polite enough when he said hi.

I was recently-single after a long relationship. One thing I liked to do with my ex was walk/hike new places. This guy wanted to walk along the foreshore for our “date.” I was happy to walk, talk and explore. It was late afternoon, there were kids playing, families picnicking close by because there was a toilet block, and the weather was nice. We walked and discussed my great love at the time (UFC/Bellator and MMA) because he’d also trained before(apparently). He walked too fast. Powerwalking because we were late for something and his shoes seemed big…like he was wearing bricks to make him look taller. I was wearing 16-hole Docs, and I was fitter because I trained every day at that time, but it was still annoying. He walked a little hunched, the way awkward tall guys don’t know they do and he kicked his feet out like he had been fat once or like his head and feet were trying to drag the rest of him. We walked for a while and we talked about the shows we liked watching eg crime/sci-fi. As we got to a weird footbridge that stretched over the path, I was still talking about  crime shows and pretended to do an evil laugh and said, “Oooo, what if I’m a serial killer and I’m gonna get ya in the tunnel?!” (awkward lame joke, icebreaker bullshit.)

Well, duh, random guy.

We walked under the bridge and continued on the path. I admired the water but kept trying to make conversation. We had walked far before we saw a bench and decided to take a break. At this stage it was still light out but it was heading towards sunset. We sat on the bench and talked for a few moments as someone walked past huffing and puffing, followed by people on bikes. Then he turned, grabbed me, and tried to kiss me. I flinched and scooted back like “wut.” At that stage, still the ever-polite idiot, I giggled like…errr? He tried again. I turned my head. Then he said, kind of disgusted, “Wtf, you aren’t a virgin, are you?” I stammered my way through my shock, annoyance, and confusion that someone would;

1. assume because I didn’t want to be the cat in Pepe’ le Pew that I wasn’t experienced in relationships.

2.  View someone’s personal choice/lack of experience as a downer and something to judge them on when they’d just met them.

This kind of audacity hadn’t happened to me before. And, at the time, I was new to dating again so I didn’t know I could tell him to fuck off and leave. I also didn’t know where I was.

When I looked around, it was suddenly dark and everything looked spooky and cold. I started saying we should go, as he started ramping up touching me and trying to kiss me a lot more. When he conceded, we began our way back, this time with no people around, apart from the occasional passing cyclist. Now, I’d have no problem asking one of them to stop and walk with me because I felt unsafe with the jerk-off next to me, but back then, I was watching missed opportunities as the vibe between UPRONTS and I changed. I walked faster, changing subjects when overly-personal questions were repeated and he started laughing at me in a cruel way. He was accusing me of things when I sidestepped questions and gave silly answers to try and lighten the mood until I could see other people.

He was on my left. Beyond him were trees, darkness, and things I didn’t know. I knew I’d parked my car somewhere up a hill on the left, but we hadn’t passed anything I recognised. I didn’t want to take off running in that direction and not know where I was. On my right, there was shiny black water and sounds from bugs and unseen wildlife. The tension was so thick I could barely breathe. I kept looking at the water and then ahead so I didn’t have to look at him, because eye contact was causing challenge. He’d throw another intimidating insinuation or suggestion and his eyes would get excited and shinier seeing me squirm.

Whatever stops me from having to see it I guess. (another random guy’s first message to me)

When I finally saw the tunnel/bridge up ahead I was slightly relieved. I knew that the picnic area, toilets and carpark was somewhere after that, still a while away but good enough for me to feel slightly better. Then I’d know kind of know where my car was. When we approached the bridge thing he turned to me and said, “Who’s going to kill who now?” I gingerly laughed and we walked into it/under it. I was scared. It had dull, sick and flickering light coming from the ceiling. Halfway through it, he stepped in front of me and stopped me. Then he grabbed me and kissed me again. It was gross. He was one of those people who just opened their lips and shoved their disgusting, warm, slimy oyster-like, furry monstrosity in your mouth. I stopped him and said I really had to get back, giggling like an idiot because I didn’t know how to get out of it. His face changed and he snapped, “Are you fucking laughing at me?!” I stumbled an “uh…no?” And he said something like, “Don’t fucking laugh eh?” (I don’t remember the exact words.) 

Back on the path, I started walking even faster. There was another point where he was annoyed at my nervous giggling and told me to stop laughing at him again. He asked me, “We’re still going to have sex, right?” I was already scared. I hadn’t had the cliched “blood running cold” experience before. Now I know what that feels like. And it does feel like exactly that.

I said, “Err, yeah, totally, just like…I can’t do it right now, tonight. I need to work early…” and I tried to change the subject. I didn’t know what to say anymore, but I was trying to stall because my brain had decided to focus on trying to breathe.

He told me since I needed to get back, we’d take a shortcut. We diverted to where he thought there was a toilet block and I remember thinking that I hadn’t noticed this stuff on the way.  I’d been looking at the river and the city beyond that I’d been looking at instead. It was like these structures had formed out of nowhere, like Dark City where authorities move streets and buildings while the city sleeps so people are confused the next morning. I tried to trail behind as we rounded corners between small sheds and over random shit in the grass. I was still giving a sliver of a benefit of the doubt, maybe he did want to go to the toilet, but I heard my head say, “This is it, this is where he does it.” And I don’t think I will be able to get out of this.

I kept walking, almost in tears, feeling horrible that I was arguing in my own head and that I’d betrayed myself. I was going to have this happen to me because it was my fault for being this stupid. I was stupid for doing this dating thing, I was dumb for listening to all the people who were telling me to date so much. I was stupid for choosing to meet this guy, soooo dumb for not calling it off earlier.

He tramped us around the structures a bit before telling me he’d made a mistake and we headed back to the path. There were sparse people around and I was so relieved I don’t even have the words to write here. The parking lot was in sight and as we got closer I said I’d watch him get to his car for safety reasons. The reason was my fucking safety, I didn’t want to go nearer his car and I didn’t want to walk away first and risk him following me to the dark grassy areas between the path and my car (where absolutely no one was.) He shoved his tongue down my throat again, hard and gross and I let him because I wanted him to think everything was normal so he would fucking leave thinking everything was okay. Then he left. I started crying as he pulled out of the lot and I washed my mouth out with what was left in my water bottle and ran crying in the direction I thought my car was.

Do not recommend.

Later I would get the guts to try the site again, about 3 years later…and I recognised his pictures. He’d changed his name to MR PASSION. Feel free to comment with alternative descriptions he could use.

 

 

Total fuckhead

 

TLDR: 

*This guy was a joke and if I’d known better at the time, it would have ended differently.

*I’m okay, this was a few years ago. When I saw his new profile, it disappeared within a day before I had time to report it or do anything about it.

*I am a different person now and dates do not go down like this now. I may explain that later.

*This person was a liar, a creep and a concern.

*Ladies, don’t EVER feel the need to be “polite” in this situation. You know what I mean, we’ve all done it.We don’t want to be offensive. We want to be a nice person and give someone the benefit of the doubt. YOU DON’T HAVE TO. Choose to be wrong or look stupid rather than take a risk your gut is warning against.

*Not all men are like this. And I will be discussing that too in a future post.

*Sign up to the eventual newsletter. 😛

 

 

 

 

Cowboy.” 1, Traditional animal herder who tends cattle on ranches usually in the North American region.

2, Derogatory term describing someone who is reckless, ignores potential risks, irresponsible or who heedlessly handles a sensitive or dangerous task.

RED COWBOYS IS COMING SOON

www.facebook.com/everedenauthor

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

 

 

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *