Mr Passion #6 SAME
September 16, 2021 1:30 am Leave your thoughts
I’m not a prude, I make jokes as dirty as they cum,
I draw the line at taunting, trying to use familiarity you don’t have the right to yet, and trying to bait someone on the off-chance they will say “yes” to your dumb sleazy shit. Those jokes are played out and, unless they’re timed well and you’ve already got some chemistry going, they’re not funny or charming. At all.
This guy looked okay. We texted a little and then moved to another app because it was easier. We exchanged messages about games we were currently playing (he liked, and owned, two of the four I was bouncing between,) we asked about why/how each other came to be on a dating site and each other’s jobs etc. There was banter, but it seemed a little forced and he was too preoccupied playing a game in the other window anyway.
We exchanged a few more messages and then he started to bring out the half-assed invites. I’m noticing a trend lately; men just want you to go to their house to “watch movies and cuddle.” Even if it’s not “Netflix/ Chill,”😉 They want an environment where they are comfortable.
It’s lame.
The Prince was the same. We did meet up again after the random, 2 word tantrum “Goodbye , Ever” text he sent me months prior. We had dinner at a burger joint (and I PAID because I was in a good mood and I also wanted to teach this strictly “dutch” guy that it doesn’t. fucking. matter. who pays as long as it’s not one person all the time. We continued to flirt for weeks until it became apparent he was either very, very naive or wasn’t interested enough to actually make an effort/actually had no time for a relationship that would mean anything. (*dutch = as in split the bill down the middle, not the people who invented the speed camera, who I now hate having learned this. ha!)
I digress, they want you to come to them/their house (and it’s usually a lonnnng drive to get to them because they’ve bought a house in the middle of nowhere where their work buddies are located, or where it’s cheaper.)
 Then they answer the door in slides with socks(*shudder,*) while you show up all pretty and hoping they aren’t going to murder you.
I’ve travelled to a guy’s house a couple of times to meet up. (MEET, not BOOTY CALL.) This was in the early days of wanting to get out and date or meet people. When you’re young, you’re always going to the houses of people you just met through other friends etc You eat snacks and check out their room/pets/games and just hang out etc. so it doesn’t feel especially different to visit someone from a dating site and do the same.
–As a jaded burnt adult on the wrong side of 30, this is not a good mindset anymore. I’ve been L U C K Y with the dumb decisions I’ve made. You might not be. Please don’t go to someone’s house or enter a strange situation for a first date/meet. Even a second date. If you’re a man and want a woman to come over to your house so you’re comfortable and you can be lazy and not go out on a limb, you don’t deserve her.
Of course, I will even this out for the willingly-offended; some men think the arrangement is okay, because a lot of “women” do too. They happily oblige, because they’re looking for the booty call/the free pizza and drugs, or whatever is on offer. These females apparently make up the majority of profiles on these apps, (if what I’ve heard is true. I’m only going by 7 guys telling me about their experiences.)
Back to this guy, who was so charming I don’t remember his name.
He started talking about swingers events, within about 10 mins of some exchanged messages. I said I didn’t know there were many around this town, making conversation. I go on weird tangents etc so I am happy to engage someone else’s, and we can both have a laugh, but it wasn’t just a tangent for him. If Swingers stuff is your thing and it’s legal age, consensual, do whatever you want – but when I say thanks, but no thanks I don’t need to have it insinuated that maybe I was the type who’d like to come and just watch instead. Not funny. Kind of creepy. Kind of not first-conversation-material with someone who was sporadically answering between rounds of his video game anyway. I tuned out and left it soon after that because the conversation then descended into a sexual theme. He hasn’t bothered me since, which is nice.
Welp, SamE, you called it.
Then I met SAME.
I dubbed him “SamE” because his name was Sam + Ewwww. And also because he played into the stereotype of a dating site male, making him part of “all the same.”
He was the first one to text me in awhile, who actually seemed like a nice guy and was good-looking. Eg: pleasant smile, nice clothes, photos of him doing regular stuff, not a BS Contiki tour he was on ten years ago where he took an obnoxious drunk pic in front of the Vegas sign. There were no pics of him skateboarding or surfing or drinking and being awesome. *rolls eyes*
Apparently he was “looking for a relationship,” stated on his profile (you specify what you want to find eg: eventuate into long term, dating, hook up -like the original MR PASSION lied about.) We exchanged a few messages and he seemed intelligent and funny too, so he made it to phone texts. The next morning we made a few jokes and small talk in text, then he started to tell me I should come over, to his house, almost an hour away. Annnnnd then he sent a dick pic. Randomly. While we were talking about his nephew and them going to the park the day before.
I was contemplating searching Google for a dick pic belonging to someone else to send back but…who can be bothered? SO I just finished the message I’d been writing to him, before my eyes were assaulted, and pressed send. Then he carried on the conversation like nothing happened, talking about his house and job. I didn’t reply, and ten mins later…
HE SENT THE SAME DICK PIC.
Yes, AGAIN.
Annnnnd I blocked the number.
WTAF.
Oh, I laughed, buddy.
TLDR:
*Fuckboys know they are fuckboys and no one -actually- wants them.
*Saw the same dick twice.
*My eyes have almost recovered.
*Swingers man – I do not share my toys, we don’t have much in common. He is on my gaming friend’s list and I haven’t talked to him since.
*A lot of people have been getting a laugh out of the SamE DOUBLE DICK PIC story.
*Sign up for when I launch the newsletter, which will not be spammy and would prob be a once a week thing with a link to the blog and whatever pic on instagram.
ALSO, CHECK OUT THE RED COWBOYS MINI TRAILER ,
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