Mr Passion #7 Plugger
July 7, 2022 3:22 pm Leave your thoughtsPlugger….
Plugger came into my life through another dating site. His face was nice and open, with a friendly smile. One of his profile pictures was with his dad, I thought it was funny and cute. He was fun, flirty and appreciated my rank as a MemeLord, in the Savage Division. We met up in a nearby city we both knew well and it was cool because we had the same memories; we both remembered old venues that had long closed down, and we’d both had experiences in the same places around the same time growing up. I’d never had much in common with dates (in the way of the areas I grew up in.) I’d made a point to date people living in another section of the city. I avoided the profiles of guys in locations close by. So, when I met Plugger, it was a novelty to be able to talk to a guy who’d grown up going to the local arcade that I did too, but someone who I had no idea existed.
Our first couple of dates were hilarious and fun. He actually got kind of offended when I wanted to pay for things or split the bill, though. I’d never experienced that before, but I didn’t want to make him mad so aside from offering to buy the drinks etc (the offer was refused,) I tried to forget that he was spending a lot of money. He seemed to have cash he liked to splash. Money’s never been something I sought in another person but this was…kind of cool. Not because he had money, but because he was so free due to it. He bought what he liked, he spent whatever it cost to be able to get the clothes or food he wanted. Ever the frugal specimen, I would cringe at some of the extravagance – like the second date where we went to a quaint house and courtyard turned into a restaurant in a popular and old part of town…where he got us very expensive food and then he opened the cocktail list.
He laughingly explained to me that he liked “girlie drinks” and not to think he was gay. When the drinks came to the table, the female server put the pint glass of brown liquid in front of him, then turned to give me the pink fancy glass with an umbrella before I said, “Oh no, that’s his.” We all found it funny. That night he said that he knows he is sitting with a girl that’s “way out of his league.” No one had said that to me before, so it was something I wanted to remember because it felt like a movie scene. We flirted,talked and had fun, and had a lot of laughs.
What I chose to ignore, was the part where he thought he should mention that women these days wanted so much but brought very little to the table themselves and it was why “all of you” should realise you ain’t shit and should stop writing on dating sites about wanting marriage or kids. (I didn’t do this so I didn’t take it personally, but it was still not a very cool thing to say) He did go on to accuse me of doing the same and I rationalised it because I think I did write something like “I’m looking for my person, in general…but want to meet new people,” which I supposed could’ve been interpreted that way. 
Over the next few months, we’d see each other around his work schedule/when he was home but…he had what I call, Side Burns Syndrome. I believe I’ve mentioned it in one of the Mr Passion posts before(?) If you’re into old Simpsons episodes, there is one where Mr Burns takes over the baseball team. His coaching is weird and controlling and he picks on one guy and tells him to “get rid of those sideburns.” So the guy does it. Then he’s yelled at to get rid of them again, so then he shaves higher into his hair, even though he doesn’t understand . Then he’s yelled at to shave them again and he is like…WTF is this guy talking about but okay…When Mr Burns sees him again, he gets kicked off the team for still not obeying the order to get rid of his sideburns.
Plugger had BAD Side Burns Syndrome. I never figured out why, I was willing to, but the reasons were never uncovered, besides him saying he “had mommy issues.” (Whatever that means to him.) I couldn’t do anything right, literally down to a normal conversation where I’d say something frivolous or benign and he’d snap “what did you mean by that?” or “Fuck, you really know how to push my buttons.”
But I never knew which buttons he was referring to, and he was a little bitch in the way he would tell me that I should know why he was angry, and that I was “playing innocent.” I’d try to believe it was just the process of two headstrong people getting to know each other’s personalities…and that maybe we were misinterpreting each other, or I wasn’t catching on fast enough.
Plugger and I on a date at a cool underground restaurant:
“Oh hey, you ordered that thing for us to share but apparently it has nuts on it, on a second look.”
“What are you, my fuckn mum? I think I know my own allergies well enough, wtf.”
“I was just saying because-”
“Okay, why would I order it, if I couldn’t eat it?”
“I just thought maybe you didn’t see the ingredi-”
“Just drop it, what the hell! Such a turn off, ugh. Like you’re my mum.”
And so on…
——BUT——
He looked at me like I was a goddess. Even walking Plugger’s driveway to his front door – he would be standing in the doorway, staring at me with a slightly open mouth and half smile, glazed look in his eyes. So I’ll let you suppose the fun and quality of other physical stuff. 😉 However, when we were chilling out or doing other things, he would push me for answers to sexual questions, centering on things he knew I was NOT into, pushing like he’d think I’d eventually cave. Long story short, a mutual friend apparently found a “gigantic butt plug” in his closet while there was a party going on at his house.
I guess I dodged a bullet…or a butt plug, as it were.
About 45mins before he started making me cry.
Plugger was my first “situationship.”
I think it generally defines what dating means now…
They date you, but they’re seeing/sleeping with a whole pile of other people at the same time. No one brings it up, and they just hope the other person eventually cuts off the other people to choose you. Or you don’t care that they are sleeping around, because you’re doing it too.
A lot of people have convinced themselves they don’t care anymore, resigned to never finding anyone, or too burnt to pursue anything other than a casual physical thing. I understand, you do you.
I didn’t know how a situationship was supposed to go or end, but he ended it. Then, like these types do, he came back about 6 months later when we were both bored AF…and we hung out once…Annnnd then he flew out to work, already arguing at me, and made excuses not to hang out again until it fizzled and he told me it was a mistake to try and “rekindle” things. (Was that what were doing?! News to me. lol)
More than anything, I’ll remember Plugger Sideburns as the person who took me on a date for my birthday, and made me cry by being so mean to me. He was also the first person I’d been with where it didn’t hurt at the end of the “relationship/interaction”. It was a kick in the guts for about a day and a half, the usual disappointment and rejection stuff, but then I was back to normal – because…his red flags had been screaming and I knew I’d just been blocking my ears to try and move forward the whole time. #eggshells
Months later still, (when we briefly spoke again,) Plugger felt the need to tell me there had been “many women” since me and “no one had complained.” It irritated me for a few days after the phonecall…until I remembered he was the first guy ever who’d shown me his dick and then literally asked me if I thought “it was enough” and then referring to his dick: do I think “‘he’d’ do the job.”
So, you keep flexing honey, whatever makes you feel secure.
Honestly, I believe you could be a great person for someone one day.
But today is not that day. And the person is not me.
TLDR:
*Went out with a guy who started off really cool and interesting.
*Ignored red flags.
*got the expected result.
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