No, Oliver.

December 19, 2019 11:11 am Published by EverEden Leave your thoughts

You cannot have more, you little ask-hole.

Oh, so you’re a…’writer?‘

(Who are you published under? Which bookstores would I see your book in? What’s it about? How much do you make from writing? So you, like, write books? Did you choose the front cover? how long did it take you? It’s not that hard, is it? My uncle’s sister’s son’s girlfriend’s adopted cousin used to write too. Do you edit it yourself? How much did it cost to produce that print copy?)

Authors tend to love anything that shows someone’s interest in the worlds they’ve created. However, sometimes people just want to satisfy whims of curiosity without actually caring about the answer. Behold, the cultural greeting song of our people;

*passing work colleague in the hall, walking at normal pace*

“Hi, Jim, how are you?”

“I’m good, Tom, you?

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

(((lame mash of words that usually sounds like…)))

“Ahh, that’s the way!” *added wink.*

Do you care about my book? Huh? Huh? If you care, I will sit there for as long as you need explaining the world that came out of my head and ended up on mountains of paper! I will sit there until we both grow cave-troll beards and our clothes turn to rags.

“What’s your book about?”

People talk about having an Elevator Pitch (in other industries.) They say you should be able to convince a producer that your idea is worth funding/bringing to a big screen etc. in the time it takes for the elevator to reach the ground floor…so, years ago, I memorized a ONE SENTENCE description of King of Spades:

When Cleo Darkrose, a young highly-ranked Black Ops agent sets out on her new assignment she expects the usual; high-tech weapons, violence and conspiracy theorists needing to be silenced – she doesn’t expect to be partnered with her former lover and a couple of headstrong, smart-mouth civilians in a chase after a man who holds some shocking truths about her agency and her past which challenge everything she’s been trained to believe. 

The truth is that an Ask-hole will ask you something like this then not be invested in any answer you give that runs longer than 30seconds. I feel like authors shouldn’t have to impress or pitch their work to someone just asking because it’s something to say.

These days, I vaguely gesture and mumble something about a secret agency, blablabla, female lead, conspiracies and mild sci-fi. This is because I’ve had quite a few experiences where the person will nod and then move onto another subject (which is okay too!) or some people will start saying things like “Oh, going to be the next JK Rowling?”

Well, if the amount of rejections are anything to go by, it’s a definite MAYBE! 😀

Worse, they sometimes ask nitty-gritty questions where the answers would only benefit other authors or those thinking of publishing their work(costs, barcodes, publishers, ISBNS etc.) I genuinely put thought into replying to someone who wants to know information because, if you were to ask anyone I know, I encourage everyone to paint, write, take risks to get creation happening…however, it’s a little sad when it’s for nothing sometimes. 🙁

I guess this post might fall under “wisdom” when I say to let the other person lead the conversation and relax, don’t get too invested and excited at the apparent interest shown. Without being rude, sometimes it seems better to give a simple answer and save you both the time. If not, and they want to know about your paper world (or ebook world!) go in all guns blazing and get them as excited about your ass-kicking heroine as you are. Any support is great and inspires you to keep writing. 🙂

 

TLDR:

*Kiiiinda starting to think everyone should have an Elevator Pitch since attention spans have shortened and even important news comes in soundbites.

*Ask me anything about writing and I’ll give you all I can…But don’t waste my time just strategically checking the progress of my life to compare it to yours for better or worse.

*This entry is short and annoyed because I’m having some health problems and can’t raise hell properly at the moment.

 

 

All content is no copyright infringement intended. All posts are opinion only and are subject to change due to experience, kicking ass and learning how to adult more effectively. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Elements of original content may be reproduced with expressed permission from Ever Eden.

 

 

 

Tags: ask-hole, askhole, author, cave troll, cleo darkrose, condescening, curious, dymocks, elevator pitch, genuine, Harry Potter, isbn, jk rowling, king of spades, more, oliver, please sir, publisher, questions, rejection, relax, sci-fi, spite, Wisdom, writer