Queen of the Flies
June 9, 2022 9:06 am Leave your thoughts
At the dawn of the next world war, a plane crashes on an uncharted island, stranding a group of schoolboys. At first, with no adult supervision, their freedom is something to celebrate; this far from civilization the boys can do anything they want. Anything. They attempt to forge their own society, failing, however, in the face of terror, sin and evil. And as order collapses, as strange howls echo in the night, as terror begins its reign, the hope of adventure seems as far from reality as the hope of being rescued. Labeled a parable, an allegory, a myth, a morality tale, a parody, a political treatise, even a vision of the apocalypse, Lord of the Flies is perhaps our most memorable tale about “the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart.” – W. Golding, Lord of the Flies
TLDR:
*I love my guys, I also want to kick them in the face.
* All names have been changed
The boys and I have been friends for many years: we go to dinner, we give each other rides to the airport, chat in a Telegram group about their hipster vaping, online dating, movies and memes, all kinds of stuff. We’ve played online games together for months at a time. We loved zombie shoot-em-up games, where the four of us would get guns and roam the streets of abandoned towns in L4D2 (yes, we are old.) There’s almost nothing like a good online game to reveal the true personalities of those you’ve chosen as your close lifelong friends…So is trampsing around a national park trying not to brain said group.
We decided to go on a much-anticipated HIKE together, we’d talked about it for years and went on some adventures with our other groups of friends, but this time we were going to finally do it. So far, our adult adventures together had been checking out new restaurants, and having BBQ lunches in a park, where you get glimpses of the group dynamics but…not to the point you want to yeet one of your friends into the fucking sun.
A hike’ll do it to ya.
My survival team consisted of me and Simon, Gil and Francis.
Simon was the driver, so I was already bracing for my own death. When we play online games, this guy will empty a whole magazine into your back as you’re faced away, going up a ladder, killing you with Friendly Fire then say “oops, sorry.” To understand the degree of the Magoo-ness, you need to know that when we picked up Gil, I voted for him to drive, despite him climbing in the car in a thick cloud of alcohol breath from the night before. Discounting the dangerous winding roads over sheer drops to the valley floor, annoying, loud, headache-inducing, fending off attacks from the backseat car ride, we actually made it.
Simon parked the car so the white line was almost in the middle of his bumper. The owners of the car next to ours would probably have some issues getting into their car because ours was so close. Well, not probably…THEY DID. They came back to their car literally as we got out. So, while Francis and I went to the bathrooms, Simon swapped with Gil and had him move the car so the other people could access theirs. Then we headed through the remnants of the tavern that probably went out of business because of the Rona restrictions and headed for a long red dirt/gravel road.
My first observation was that there were too many people. I thought this was going to be a hike in the wilderness where we’d see animals and not hear another human for a while. This place was like a crowd after a football game headed for the train station. I’d never been there before so Francis decided which trail we were going to take. There were 3(?) different-sized trails to choose from. I was told one would take 6-8 hours and the short one would take about an hour. I wanted a big one, but the discussion was happening between Francis and Gil and they knew the place better than I did so we all set off on the shortest one. (Hindsight, it was a very good decision)
There rocks on the left, cutting off any sort of view and then trees to the right of the path. I’ve seen trees before. There wasn’t much to get excited about and Simon had recommenced the tirade he’d begun when he’d picked me up, ranting about his family and the squabbles between brothers and then his newfound knowledge on treatments for certain medical conditions. When someone talks AT you and at a nasal and loud volume…you (try to) tune out before you die of frustration. Gil and Francis mostly walked ahead, discussing girls and music until Francis got the urge to hang back and assault one of us.
We had some laughs pretending to push each other down cliffs etc but Francis spent the day walking past all of us and landing slow-motion, but hard punches on us at various places and times which lost charm…considering he was pinching us like a 4 year old girl from the back seat on the way there. I dunno what gets into these boys. Simon was acting like a complete ass too in multiple ways. To his credit, hungover/still-drunk Gil was the most mature, apart from making most of the decisions which I didn’t always agree with but felt good that at least someone was taking point and herding us along.
I saw some very beautiful parts of this city, got some ideas on where to hide a body. I would also like to go back and be more prepared for what would be expected, not just of my friends but also of myself. I was irritable from a 6 day headache at that stage and needing a LOT of rest. On the way back, one of my legs started causing me pain and made it difficult to take in the amazing surroundings or tolerate some of the stuff going on around me. I knew my body was unfit at the moment, but apparently it needs to remember to use muscles too. Thank goodness I took some pics because by the end of it, I had steam coming out of my ears and just wanted to go home.
I’m voting for packing food and water next time, because hunger definitely turned ALL OF US crazy. I also hope we can all give each other a break and work together because I’ve seen us do it in games. When the team has its shit together, we will run the motherfuckn zombie apocalypse by helping each other, covering each other from danger, finding ways to make sure we get the best out of everyone, and all contributing to solutions.
Francis, casually punching EVERYONE
So, anyway note to future self.
MY OBSERVATIONS:
* If you are ever in a zombie apocalypse or survival situation, kill Simon for food, immediately. He has a fat ass for a regular guy, lots of rump steak to be made. If he is being used as meat, he will finally STFU and stop talking about shit you don’t care about. He will also not accidentally cause your death.
*Francis has a brain, but he gets carried away and needs to burn off energy. Use this to your advantage, maybe he can build a lookout point and plan strategies to takeover other strongholds. He is diplomatic and can be used to possible liaise with other groups in the area because he has patience unlike you. He likes to be a guide to others and will have pride in being in charge of certain aspects of the camp. He will make sure it is done well.
*Gil has brothers, he knows what pecking orders are, how to let things go and when to call it…and he has balls similar to yours. He doesn’t mind getting down and dirty to survive, and will most likely be more than happy to hunt and adapt. However, he can be opportunistic so if you meet another survival group, watch that he doesn’t jump ship to save his own ass cos it’s easier or that he falls in love with the first blonde damsel he sees.
some tame-ish kangaroos we got to pat before we set off
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