RED
July 23, 2020 2:38 am Leave your thoughts
Last week I gave in and did one of those stupid “hey look at me and say nice things about me,” type posts on social media.
Which colour am I? The options were predictable; black is elegant, pink is fun etc.
The comments from friends said I was…
RED.
When I read the three lines under it, I was like 0_0 Because that is not the me that – I – know.
Red said “assertive, agressive and passionate.”
I’ll take the passionate, definitely – when I have a project, I’m dedicated, visionary in where things could go, and I give a high effort to make it happen because I believe in it. This goes for art, writing, acting and relationships with friends or other. But the other two…?
I can probably seem agressive if someone advocates infringing my rights, or people are being mean to my friends etc. or things I’m “passionate” about, but I think people can mistake effective articulation as someone being excessively passionate about a subject too. Having said that, my household when younger was lively and loud; if you wanted something or thought something was unfair and your sibling was being a cockhead, you just said it and then you yelled about it and later usually made up with food. I don’t think we ever hid our feelings and, despite present rhetoric in our culture about being yourself etc, many people and establishments do hide reality and many words are simultaneously being overexaggerated too. Eg: a celebrity is photographed shedding a tear – all articles caption it with “she sobs.” A friend doesn’t like tomato in their burger and said “yuck!” but later the grapevine claims he swore and was physically sickened by it by the way he exclaimed his shortlived feeling.
It’s like any display of regular human emotion is too much, and the meaning of words is changing to reflect more intensity than what’s actually going on.
The other word under RED was “assertive.” This one depends on mood, who is messing with me(if some huge scary dude walks past and bumps me, Imma just keep walking,) whether I’m too tired to care, busy etc. But no, I did not think I was especially assertive. I still keep quiet if some old bastard pushes in front of me at the deli counter in the supermarket a lot of the time!
I wasn’t insulted to learn RED was the impression I gave off, (I’m actually kind of chuffed,) but it reminded me that everyone we meet only knows their version of us…
And that is a blessing and curse.
My heart has been chipped, splintered, then broken, demolished and finally I’m walking around with it shattered to dust…but getting RED means people still see me as a BEASSST! (yay!) I think it sends a good message, that maybe some people are strong enough to maintain a sense of self and their goals no matter what is occuring around them. I think this can inspire people.
On the flipside, I once had an aquaintence who started actively avoiding me when I was down. I became the Eeyore of our social group and it was ann
oying to her because she didn’t seem to understand the depths mental health can sink and why snapping your fingers can’t pull you out even if you’re really trying. It was also like she was afraid it would leach off me onto her. I felt sad about not showing my better sides and giving her reasons to appreciate me but…in the end, a couple of years later…I don’t give a fuck. I’ve learned that it is not on me to prove my worth to people who can’t already see it/can’t think I have more than what they initially saw on a particular day. It’s unfortunate but if that is the side someone chooses to stop at before getting to know you, then let them have it.
No wonder people in the public eye get haters so easily. It’s far easier to say “that person is THIS,” – case closed. That person is “THAT, because they have this principle,” and then move on satisfied you put something in its box and lablled. I dislike the neanderthal-thinking style “cancel culture” has brought to parts of everyone’s life. We’ve all seen throngs of an overly-vocal outrage mob go after someone who was misquoted or taken out of context, or a person who was joking – or even does really hold a controversial point of view on a particular subject…but that isn’t all there is to that person.
So am I RED today? Hell yeah, I even started shit with some girl this morning for being an asshole, before I took a breath, remembered my age and continued on to work. Am I always RED? No, I am also black, pink, yellow and nearly all the others on that picture too. And so are you.
TLDR:
*Everyone we meet only sees one interpretation of who we are.
*It is not your job to control how people see you.
*Cancel culture is lame as shit
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