SorrynotSorry
September 15, 2022 10:19 am Leave your thoughtsINCOMING
I have one polarizing word that I want to tell you. In the midst of the uber-scary C-word that makes brainwashed idiots panic and by copious amounts of facemasks. A aside from the V word that’s divided people in every nation as they are forced to weigh the options of getting an experimental medical procedure or lose their job…I PRESENT YOU WITH ANOTHER…
Just LOOK at her stupid face.
….When you hear it, and what you do with that word, will tell me if we can be friends.
CYCLISTS
Did you wince and shake your head?
Did you make a dismissive hand gesture because you think I’m overreacting?
If you did the second one, fuckoutahere.
I’ve never been a cyclist. I’m sure some of you are good people…but the majority of you are complete assholes and you need to grow up. This is Australia, the wide brown land, or so they say. You know what that means? It means your lycra-covered boney ass cannot ride a piece of tin more than a few kilometres because everything you want is so much further away. You aren’t one-ball-Armstrong, or whatever his name was.
This is only a short post, because I’m about to die of exhaustion from my many projects and responsibilities but…
These ridiculous people have plagued my life for most of it. Why do you insist on riding on main and busy roads during peak hour so that a line is created behind you because people are afraid to pass you. OR, as it is in my country, we get a fine if we get too close to you as you take over the lane and make about a hundred cars late for work, so you can smell your own farts believing you are saving the planet as you ensure every car behind you blows more smog into the air trying not to accidentally kill you.
I’ve seen you ride 2-abreast, in four rows, down a three lane main highway of this city, along side and in front of semi-trailer trucks.
I’ve seen you make all the traffic crawl behind your ass, then when everyone needs to stop at a red light, you suddenly turn into a pedestrian and walk your bike through instead…and THEN create the same chaotic situation when the cars try to drive past you after they’ve waited for the light to turn green.
I hate seeing your skin tight lycra shorts defining your very asshole when I drive up behind.
I dislike how the woke government built painted cyclists SECTIONS before a traffic light so all the cars have to wait one or two car lengths behind just IN CASE one of you decides you want to stop and wait for the same set of lights….And fuck me with a fine if I drive onto that painted section by accident.
I think it’s ridiculous how some major roads and busy spots with restaurants or pubs have encroached onto the roads and reduced three lanes to become two, or two into one, because you apparently need your own pretty lane lined with flower beds. This costs me tax dollars and upheaval while they install it, and those lanes NEVER last. They go on for a handful of metres up the road before they randomly stop and spit your dandy-ass back out onto the regular car lanes where we all have to deal with you AGAIN.
This is not the quaint cobbled backstreets of some old village in Europe. This is a major city. That is a major highway, that is a bridge with a bike and pedestrian path on the other side. Why didn’t you choose to take the side that was catered for you? Why are you making me and 23 other cars slow down while we wait for your stick legs to peddle you to a place where we can overtake you and forget people like you get to vote.
TLDR
*It’s okay, I’m calm now. I had something to eat.
* This post was mostly in jest, but if one of you would like to educate me and rationalise this infuriating behaviour, please go ahead. 🙂
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Tags: accident, australia, balance, bicycle, bike, bike rider, calm, city, city girl, climate, cyclists, eat, fast lane, frustration, fuck you, fuckoutahere, grow up, holier than though, IRL, kilometre, lance armstrong, lycra, main roads, major city, maturity, one ball, polarizing, polloution, projects, push bike, rage, rant, shit don't stink, smog, vote