When an Alpha Breaks
February 17, 2022 6:05 pm Leave your thoughts
I won’t tag you girls, but your book boyfriend is coming back.
Agent Trent Starr has an arc I’m very proud of. Some of you know that the first few Darkrose Novels were written long ago and were just needing to be tweaked to bring them to everyone. Trent Starr began as a lovable joker that was skilled but didn’t take himself too seriously. The combined attributes seem very rare in the real world but I’ve been lucky enough to meet men that possess them. Trent Starr has been fun to write for because at a certain stage, I’m very far from him but also very close in my understanding of what he is experiencing. I like to keep a reader far from some of his thoughts, giving him a little dignity or privacy. His actions speak when the narrative or dialogue doesn’t because some things can’t be explained entirely when you’re mentally ill.
The PTSD, anxiety and racing thoughts he experiences are something I know very well. Not for the reasons he suffers them, of course, but the brain does interpret situations similarly despite some differences; eg, a soldier caught in life-threatening combat or a woman running from an ex boyfriend trying to run her down with his car. My journey through gaining back my mental stability and health was one I didn’t even realise was happening. It took me YEARS to (sorta) heal it. The trauma is not all gone. But it sits better.
Yes, VJ just got me started on Ozark. I only knew this meme.
Trent Starr always had a little trouble, even at the start, when I didn’t know shit about fuck. I knew what it was like to have a hyper-aware internal monologue, but at the time he was created, waaayyyy back, I didn’t know what I do now about C-PTSD and PTSD, and I was yet to go through a whole pile of other trauma in adulthood that trained me quickly.
As part of my editing routine, I listen to audio versions of my books. The neuroticism of Agent Starr’s thought process is more apparent in Red Cowboys than it was in King of Spades. If you’ve read KOS, you know he was spiralling upon his return from active duty, rejoining Cleo Darkrose …and now he is trying to balance his new roles and partner. The book moves fast but still explores the internal struggles Agent Starr deals with to get his job done.
His grief comes in waves, like his bursts of confidence and violence and his racing thoughts as if his regular/past self is coming up for breath but still being weighted down by everything. Having worked on my mental health and generally reaching a calmer place, hearing the narrative of Red Cowboys is a trip. When I heard Trent Starr talk about his grief and the way certain thoughts hit him, I felt like I wanted to talk to him, counsel him and help to calm him down because the intensity of those feelings sounds like he was at war with himself – Particularly because he is/was such a strong, capable agent. Being a highly-respected man and suddenly being unable to perform like he used to also hurts the ego and confidence and or trust in himself.
He was disintegrating all the way through, but by the end of KOS, it’s clear he’s no longer operating the way he used to. How an Alpha/Sigma type strives to retain some of who he was (his residual self-image) despite life-changing injury, grief of a dead friend/partner, new roles in his career is fascinating for me to hear/read. I can’t reveal anything that may be a spoiler, but I’m peculiarly far enough away from the character that I’m entertained and intrigued by where he’ll take his arc. I believe he’s a very important addition to the Darkrose Novels and I can’t wait to have his groupies read more about him or to have people who know what it’s like to perhaps see pieces of themselves in him and think about ways to get better.
TLDR:
* Agent Starr’s mental health is featured heavily in this book.
*Readers can get closer to knowing his motivations and what happened to him.
*He’s still funny.
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Tags: Agent starr, alcohol, alcoholic, Alpha, anxiety, arc, CDRC, cleo darkrose, confusion, counsel, grief, king of spades, KOS, mental health, mental helth, Neuroticism, PTSD, red cowboys, secret agent, sigma, suffering, trent starr, understanding, VJ